The landscape continued to change as Teiwaz tried to find a 'friendly' place. Deep underground caves, above waterfalls, in a deep jungle, until a meadow dotted with pale blue flowers.

"That looks nice." Rae approved.

"How are you to know?" Zaknafein inquired, but he shifted his weight. There was a sucking sound has his boot pulled out of the mud, and he winced.

"Well, we had better decide," Teiwaz informed them tiredly. "I won't be able to change much other locations any more."

"What would the World-Makers least expect from us?" Rae pondered. Glancing at their blank expressions, she amended, "That may be for the best, won't it? If they don't expect what we do, they won't be able to spring those 'challenges' on us. So far we've had three, and all of them are the more or less 'friendly' World-Makers. I don't want to find out what an 'unfriendly' World-Maker would do."

"True," Zaknafein agreed. "The most unpredictable thing would be for all three of us to separate, of course."

"Not an option," Teiwaz took Rae's hand firmly.

"Not practical either," Rae said hastily, squeezing Teiwaz's hand. Zaknafein rolled his eyes and muttered something in drow under his breath.

"Or to go into the most dangerous looking terrain."

"What if it is the most dangerous terrain?" Teiwaz mused aloud. "They do not want us dead...so it sort of makes sense to follow basically where they pull us to go."

Zaknafein sighed. "Through this one, then."

***

The meadow was a clearing in what appeared to be a normal deciduous forest in the grip of autumn. There was a pleasant apple scent in the wind, and the grass was crisp under their feet, as well as a pervading sense of peace.

"This can't be any other than Shoshuna's private realm," Zaknafein stared at something ahead of them in the trees. Teiwaz and Rae looked, to see several young animals - including a fawn and two wolf cubs - playing together rather happily. Their boots had oddly been cleansed of mud.

There was the rustle of grass near them, and both Zaknafein and Teiwaz whirled, reaching for their weapons.

Rae's eyes lit up. A unicorn!

The beautiful horse-like creature gave them an amused glance with beautiful sky-blue eyes, then turned around to wander to the trees. After a short distance it turned, looked back, and whickered at them.

"Forgive me for sounding stereotypical," Rae said dryly, "But I think it wants us to follow it."

"I was wondering when someone would suggest that," Zaknafein nodded. "Well. I think we should. Shoshuna is the elemental incarnation of Healing, and I doubt she causes hurt. Come on."

The unicorn led them patiently through the forest; light patterns on the undergrowth, until the trees thinned out into a wide-open field. On the field was a mansion, more like a small castle in its own right. It was predominantly in shades of gold-yellow, and the designs pleasing, soft and mostly symbolizing harmony. The large main doors, with carvings of rearing unicorns, opened into an internal courtyard. Their unicorn guide whinnied and cantered back to the forest.

The ground was strewn with the gold and red of autumn leaves; though the shades were impossibly fresh and vibrant. In front of them were several buildings, also elaborately carved, but in front of them were a trio of dancers in light robes that hugged their bodies, all female and vaguely human, beautiful faces radiant as they danced gracefully to the music from a flute.

The flutist sat on a wooden bench behind them that seemed to have grown naturally out of the ground, made of white roots twisted together. She wore a dress, unadorned, in hues of creamy yellow that shifted in the unnaturally soft sunlight. The flute was wood, with a jade ornament and a tassel on one end.

The music itself was unnaturally perfect and too complex to have come from such an instrument. The three of them watched silently as the dance reached completion in a display before the flutist, then the three dancers glided off silently into one of the buildings.

The flutist lowered her instrument to the bench and raised her eyes. Her face was oddly not unnaturally beautiful. Rae would and could have mistaken her for any 'normal' human being, with milk-complexion and golden blond hair that fell down in uncombed tresses to her waist. Except for the eyes, which seemed to be the rich amber of honey, the light cream-yellow of the first sunlight and the inviting gleam of gold all at once.

She smiled.

Zaknafein and Teiwaz bowed gracefully, while Rae watched uncertainly.

"You are Shoshuna?" Rae asked curiously. Beside her, Teiwaz grimaced, while Zaknafein winced slightly at her bold question.

The flutist nodded once, slowly and surely. "You are in my realm," she said, confirming Zaknafein's suspicions.

"Ah. Er. Is there some sort of ordeal here now?" Rae poked further.

"Rae!" Teiwaz whispered furiously.

"Forward as always," Shoshuna placed her hands demurely in her lap. "Yes, I believe you could call it an ordeal. Would you like to begin now?"

"The sooner the better," Rae said belligerently.

Zaknafein began to smile.

Shoshuna turned her head to regard the Sword Master gravely, as if noticing his presence by that small movement. "Welcome, Zaknafein Do'Urden. You are not included in this ordeal. Leave to the westward building and wait, if you would please. Master Janran, your predecessor, would like to speak with you for a while."

Zaknafein blinked, hesitated, took a step backward, then glanced at Rae and Teiwaz.

"Go," Shoshuna said. It was not only the inflection of the word, but there was an underlying edge of command that somehow hinted at the power of even this gentle World-Maker.

Zaknafein proffered a short bow and moved quickly. Shoshuna waited until he disappeared into the stipulated building then turned back to the Nexus pair, whom were unconsciously holding hands.

She made no move, but roots burst out of the ground before her, two sets. One set formed a low coffee table, and the next behind the table formed another bench, which she indicated that they sit on with a nod of her head.

Teiwaz glanced at Rae, who shrugged. We might as well. They sat on the bench, and after a heartbeat one female servant glided up to them, placed refreshments on the table - fluted glass goblets of some sort of pale liquid and a plate of assorted biscuits - and glided off.

Rae cautiously took a sip, and blinked. The liquid was mellow and had a complicated taste - it was like drinking sunshine.

"A type of wine," Shoshuna explained, holding her goblet gently. "I indulge myself in many ways."

"Excuse my question," Teiwaz began hesitantly, "But aren't we supposed to be undergoing some test now?"

"You would not wish to speak with me?" Shoshuna smiled.

"No, not that," Teiwaz said hastily. Shoshuna winked briefly at Rae, who quickly raised her goblet to her lips to hide a smile. Teiwaz had a very firm idea of 'higher class' and 'lower class' that she may have to break in the future. He was quite straight-laced in certain ideas...

"Teiwaz no doubt is wondering when we can get on with it so we can proceed to the next um, Challenge," Rae said smoothly, then eased Teiwaz's arm around her waist. She leaned on him, a makeshift cushion.

"Speak with me a while," Shoshuna delicately nibbled a biscuit. "It is not often that I receive company."

"Why? You are the most popular...er, that is to say..." Shoshuna watched with amusement as Teiwaz faltered.

"Perhaps I am," Shoshuna admitted. "But I prefer my privacy at times. And it is so rare that I manage to speak to a full Nexus pairing."

"Everyone talks about that," Rae licked the back of her teeth with her tongue thoughtfully, soaking up some remnant of the liquid. "It does not seem like that much of a life-changing experience to me..."

"Ah, but it is," Shoshuna leaned forward slightly. "Tell me, Rae, why do you wish to return to your home? You seemed perfectly willing to leave it at first."

"Why?" Rae repeated the question to herself. "Why...because 'at first' I thought I would not miss anything. My life had become disturbingly stressful - or so I saw it to be - and it seemed a relief to get away from it all. And yet, I doubt I am cut out to be some sort of adventurer. I liked Sanctuary," she added as if as an afterthought, "But all the side-ventures, no. I'm not the sort of person who finds spiritual achievement in living in the rough, I think."

"There is no need for you to 'live in the rough' as you put it," Shoshuna said gently, "You are not required to quest all the time, and in fact, many quests do not involve trekking all over the Worlds. Life will be less fast-paced and 'stressful' here than in your Earth."

"I know," Rae said, biting her lip. "Maybe I don't like everything forced. Maybe I'm..."

"Contrary?" Teiwaz supplied.

"That," Rae smiled at him. He gave her an encouraging nod. "But I like to have a full choice. And I haven't fully sounded out life on my world as yet. I miss it - the friends, my family, even school. Maybe a normal life isn't such a bad life after all."

Shoshuna nodded. "Did you know that if you did separate from your Nexus - Teiwaz would prefer Sanctuary, I believe - you would experience great spiritual pain? Teiwaz as well?"

Rae blinked. Teiwaz didn't look surprised.

"I see your paired already knows," Shoshuna looked at Teiwaz. "Why did you not speak this, Teiwaz?"

"Because...because if she was willing to go," Teiwaz said painfully, "If she was willing to endure the pain, then I would too, if she wished me to."

Shoshuna bowed her head, and Rae heard something like 'What a silly thing is love'. She raised an eyebrow, and Shoshuna smiled suddenly. "A favorite quote of Morikan's. Or part of it - the rest of the quote is decidedly cynical. Love is a beautiful thing," she continued, "I believe it so...but love cannot often pull all threads into its weaving. There are some things which you would have to accommodate, but not all fits."

She glanced at them, then sighed. "I speak but you do not understand. But the situation for the both of you appears to be that either Teiwaz would somehow follow you to your world, or you would stay in Sanctuary. Believe me, that pain is not so light a thing to speak about."

Rae put her goblet on the table, then leaned back on Teiwaz. "I suppose there isn't much choice, is there? I'd stay on Sanctuary. Teiwaz can't fit on my world, but I can fit in his...yours."

"Rae," Teiwaz tried to sound firm, but only managed to sound rather pathetically relieved.

"Then there is not much point as to this entire venture, is there?" Shoshuna's eyes twinkled merrily.

"You mean this entire...thing was just to try and get me to capitulate?" Rae felt incredulous, and somehow cheated, as well as vaguely furious. "You...you...wait. What about the wishes?"

"What would you have wished for?" Shoshuna countered.

Rae opened her mouth to speak, hesitated, tried to speak again, then sighed. "I don't know. I don't suppose wishing for a million more wishes would have amused Morikan."

"Hardly anything much amuses Morikan," Shoshuna agreed. "Except, strangely, Zaknafein. I have no idea why - even under myself I would not be so lenient with that elf. Most strange, but I trust in my Kano. Well, Teiwaz, what would you have wished for?"

"I would have given my wish to Rae if she needed it," Teiwaz said, paused, then continued. "But if she didn't want it, I would wish for Uruz to find happiness. That would be a final tribute to Othila."

Shoshuna nodded, as if to herself.

"But Zaknafein? He wants the riots stopped, doesn't he?" Rae asked, glancing at the westward building.

"Morikan is already working on it," Shoshuna revealed. "It has begun to annoy him. In reality, he just wishes to teach Zaknafein...something. I cannot know what."

"Humility?" Rae smiled, remembering the zombies.

"Perhaps," Shoshuna commented enigmatically. "It isn't working, is it, if that is the case?"

"What about the other World-Makers? Won't they want us to do their...ordeals as well?" Rae mused aloud.

"Everything is flexible," Shoshuna said expansively. "However, if you do wish to continue..."

"No," Teiwaz and Rae chorused said hastily.

"Then I will see what I can do," Shoshuna rose from her bench. "I will call up on my brethren now. Stay or explore, it is your wish."

She disappeared without any flashy preamble.

Rae looked at Teiwaz. Teiwaz looked at Rae.

"What was that about?" Rae blinked.

"Shoshuna is the soft one," Teiwaz grinned impishly. "Well. No more undesirable places, then."

Rae chuckled, picking up a chocolate biscuit from the plate and eating it thoughtfully, the gravelly crunch in her mouth, crumbs threatening to stick in her teeth. "Certainly...unexpected."

"Mmph." Teiwaz rested her head on his shoulder and breathed in the scent of her hair. "Peaceful for once."

"Naturally," Rae's eyes felt heavy. "I don't see Zaknafein anywhere, do I?"

"He won't like you talking like that," Teiwaz murmured somewhere above her.

"When has that mattered?" It seemed the most natural thing to do, in the sunshine, to close her eyes and rest.

The bench morphed slightly to form a backing as Teiwaz leaned absently back, cradling Rae in his arms, and also closed his eyes.

***

"Those two your friends?" Janran inquired as the two of them finally stepped out of the westward building. One of Shoshuna's servants had announced the departure of the World-Maker, and permission to go out.

Zaknafein glanced at the sleeping pair, entwined arms, identical smiles, and mixing hair, gold on silver. "Yes," he admitted. He walked over to the table and selected a few biscuits with interest.

"The ones with the sugar on them are good," Janran said helpfully. The ex-Sword Master was bulky and towered over Zaknafein. He did not wear armor or weapons, and had apparently come down from the Plane where souls went at Shoshuna's request, to 'keep Zak occupied'.

Zaknafein liked the human. As most large-sized creatures went, he had a gentle and honest nature. Janran spoke wistfully of Sanctuary, and asked Zaknafein many questions as to the running of the Sword students...it can not be said that they approved totally of each other, but it was close.

"Thanks," Zaknafein said, then looked thoughtfully at Shoshuna's bench. "I wonder what she said to them?"

"I don't think it's something momentous," Janran peered at the sleeping pair. "Or they won't be sleeping."

"They're tired," Zaknafein shrugged. "But that is really poor training if...ah. Perhaps this is the reason." He held up one of the goblets, sniffed it, then passed it to Janran, who duplicated his gesture.

"Yluren wine," Janran replaced the goblet carefully on the table, as if afraid he would break it. "I am not surprised they are sleeping...though I doubt in this case they will wake up with the hangover."

"Shoshuna does not cause pain," Zaknafein agreed. "Well, perhaps it is good they are getting some rest. It has been a trying time."

Janran nodded. Zaknafein had sketched out some of their adventures. "I could not have believed it of LanC'edar...then again, I always thought something was odd with that fellow."

"Odd," Zaknafein repeated absently. He glanced at the pair again. "I do not really hold with 'love', but I hope they will be happy." He grimaced. "That did not come out right."

Janran grinned. "Warriors aren't diplomats."

"Thankfully," Zaknafein looked up towards the sky and breathed in deeply, even though he did not need to. "Is this what makes Shoshuna so popular? Peace?"

"It does not suit everyone," Janran picked up an autumn leaf that was a deep blood red. "I for one do not regret choosing Morikan."

"Neither do I," Zaknafein added, "But sometimes..."

"There is always a 'sometimes'," Janran agreed. "But Shoshuna's way and what she represents doesn't suit everyone. Not even you, I would think."

Zaknafein didn't answer immediately, but looked around, at the leaves that rolled as if buoyed by invisible waves by the wind, then up at the fluffy white clouds on a beautiful blue sky, listening to the echoes of music somewhere in the mansion, then down at the pair.

Even when asleep, Teiwaz's face seemed to hold his deep pain, that was oddly reflected on Rae, even if their expressions both radiated a certain heartfelt happiness. And Zak knew what that pain was, and he knew then that forgiveness and a harmony with all that was Shoshuna's private 'philosophy' did not parallel his own.

He touched the hilt of Frostbite idly. "No, not even me."

This sounds like a soap opera.

Maybe the decision is simple after all.

Is it?

Am I too stubborn to admit that what I want can't happen? Maybe I am. I don't like it when things don't go my way - but who does? But what is 'my way' in this case? The question seems so simple, but it isn't. Not simple at all.

I'm falling, but suddenly I'm on the ground, on my back, my wings gone, staring up at the sky. The clouds seem so far away now, but the wind is still with me, and I get up to my feet. Grass under my feet turns into concrete, and I seem to be wearing shoes, because I can't feel the cold in the concrete. Concrete seems usually cold.

I'm in the science lab, the Chemistry lab, and we're doing titration - that thing where you put solution P into the burette and 25 cm^3 of Q into a flask and titrate with P. Q is potassium manganate again, and I can quote the exact words I would find in the worksheets - Due to the intense coloring of potassium manganate, you may find it easier to read from the top of the meniscus.

I take my place and start - it seems so natural. In a short time, my lab bench or table is already splattered in the deep purple of potassium manganate and I have sulphuric acid on my hands, which itches.

I look in the basin and see the radial patterns of spilled potassium manganate - hair like, vein like patterns stretch out from a heart of deep purple, fading to lavender. I turn on the tap to try and wash the basin but there's only a trickle of water. My partner pours something into the sink and the purple strangely turns a deep black. I don't recall any chemical doing that before.

The water seems to nudge the black into the shape of a cat, and I laugh and look up to make a joke, but I'm not in the labs anymore.

***

I'm in my room, and someone's cleaned it up. Everything's neat and tidy, unbearably so. I sit down on the bed and look at the socks that I've taken off and left on the ground. I wonder why the school wants people to wear socks? My feet are a pale white where the socks start.

Music's playing, a familiar tune that I've heard in Walt Disney's Fantasia before, slow and ponderous. The dream catcher on my bedside light waves gently, though there's no wind that I can feel. There is some sort of green iridescence on the black feathers in the light, and not for the first time I wonder which sort of bird contributed those feathers.

The door opens and my brother comes in, he's telling me something about the sand dollar specimen I gave him. It's this chalky, fragile, hollow thing with what looks like a fossilized shellfish on the top. He says that it's a sea urchin and the holes that rim the starfish shape are where it pushes up its spines. Then he proceeds to tell me where the anus is, a fact that I really don't want to know. He's spoiled my conception of the sand dollar. I smile weakly as I usually do when he tells me this sort of thing, and I tell him to go away.

He does, strangely. Usually he acts as if he cannot hear me.

I stare at my hands for a moment, then there's a depression in the space next to me on the soft bed and my mom is there, she kisses my cheek and asks me if there's something wrong, I can confide in her.

There's nothing wrong, is there? I can still feel him all around. There's something nagging at the back of my mind but there's nothing wrong I can discern, I smile and tell her no, I'm just tired.

Am I tired? She says I seem a bit depressed lately, I should take things in my stride, now that the report book has been resolved.

What report book?

I feign knowledge and nod, and I try to smile again but it's difficult, as if I can't move my face. She kisses my forehead and hugs me, then goes off saying she's baking bread and butter pudding, do I want to help? Only to eat it, I say, my normal response, and she laughs and closes the door.

My father doesn't show much affection most of the time. He appears at my door and he asks whether I have any tests this week, his normal way of asking me if I'm ok in school. I say no. He nods and hesitates then tells me absently to study before going away.

Study?

I have homework on the study table and it reads, what is the President of the United States and I find I can't remember anything. There are other weird questions but I don't seem to find them odd, like what is the thickness of a normal chicken eggshell. Maybe I will later. I hold my pillow tightly as I do the questions.

I'm doodling on the paper and before I know it I've drawn some weird monster with frills that looks vaguely lizard like, and my ink slowly fades from black to green. Somewhere in the back of my head a name surfaces but I don't listen to it, I feel muzzy. I get up from the revolving chair and open the door and go outside - it's not the living room, and I don't see my brother watching Cartoon Network or hear my father playing the bass guitar downstairs, or smell my mother's baking.

I'm not in the living room.

I turn around but the door's disappeared.

***

I still have my pillow, the small bolster that is my security blanket since very young. I refused to relinquish it whenever asked by my grandmother or by my mother. My father thinks its funny. I don't know - I don't like to give up things. I took longer than my brother to give up the milk bottle, for example - I just didn't want to break the habit.

I'm walking down the route to the library near school with my two closest friends, and we're talking about an inconsequential topic, dreams. One of them recounts a dream which recurred where she was supposedly stabbed to death by her boyfriend (we laugh, because we can't see any of us with boyfriends) and in which she doesn't know why he did it, or who he was. She knew him in the dream but she doesn't know him in real life, my other friend grins and says maybe it's a premonition. We hush her but laugh.

The pillow I'm holding turns into my school file which I don't put in my bag because it can't fit. It has a pattern of silver baby birds on a white background, actually wrapping paper for babies but I thought it looked pretty when I bought it.

I start to recount the dream I remember most - the one where I repeatedly tried to murder Stalin over three nights. I say maybe because in that time I was playing too much Red Alert, on the Soviet side, because the Stalin looked really familiar even though I've never seen any official photographs of the dictator. The first night I used a knife, the second (he was bandaged) I used a hand gun, the third night I told some associates (we were holding machine guns) that we would succeed this time, and I remember Mulan of Disney somewhere in the dream but I can't remember what.

We stop at a McDonalds to buy apple pies and fries to eat on our way and I see dimly that all the people around me seem rather vague, but I'm happy and I feel safe and free, and as we walk we start talking about how come dreams come about, and whether they come true. I smile and say yes, but I don't know why, I feel loved now but not the friendship sort of love or the familial sort of love.

He's around me, but I can't talk about him.

We go up the escalators because we haven't finished our apple pies and we still don't know if we can eat in the elevator, and it seems such a sacrilege to eat in those squeaky clean red marble and mirror lifts.

We don't notice the shops around us, only each other's company, and we tease the friend who has the boyfriend-stabbing-her dream to look down, because she's afraid of heights. She sighs loudly at us and we grin, it's a thing we do whenever we're high up somewhere where we can look down.

There seems to be less and less people.

We reach the library floor. The new library has many new books but it's all glass and metal, rather cold and unfriendly unlike the normal library we visit, but that one's further away from school and more inconvenient to go to.

We find the bookdrop and dump some books in, then walk slowly into the library, rather nervously past the detector devices. Even if we haven't done anything, we still feel rather nervous when going past the red blinking devices, a constant phobia of its sudden disembodied, penetrating beeping suddenly happening, but nothing happens this time and we go to look at the bookshelves.

It seems that every book that I've ever wanted to read are on the shelves, the books on my arms eventually are more than what my library card can normally take, so I reluctantly put some back. Terry Pratchett's written several new Discworld books that I've never seen before, and Mercedes Lackey's continued on her Diana Tregarde series...there are a few more Sherlock Holmes books that I haven't seen before either.

I've separated from my friends - they too have found books that they don't seem to have expected, but their taste in books is slightly different from mine, one of them likes thrillers and fantasy, one likes a bit of everything, and I like pure fantasy. We're out of borrowing space on our cards quickly and we complain to each other and commiserate with each other.

I manage to fit the books into my bag even if it feels weightless, and we go to the lifts this time since we've long finished our food. They get off at floor one to take a bus, but I don't live near them so I have to get off at Basement one to take the trains. The layered metal doors slide open and I leap quickly out - I have a phobia of those things closing on me - but I'm not on Basement one.

My bag is gone and I see a book in my arms instead of my file, that's all red with a snake insignia on it, but it too seems to disappear.

***

I'm on the bank of a lake which the bluest thing I've ever seen, the water's flat as glass and I can see some of the waterweeds beneath the surface. The grass of the bank is soft, like cotton, and I can see a lone swan on the water, like some white sculpture except that it occasionally glides around or dips its beak in the water.

It's slightly cold, the wind's crisp and more playful than normal, and I hug myself. I feel someone put his arms around me from behind, and I smile - it's him. He tells me he's glad to see me, and I'm glad to see him too. He kisses the nape of my neck and I chuckle, reaching up to stroke his cheek, feeling his warm body pressing against me.

I look idly into the water and it seems to ripple even though there's no disturbance, it's odd so I nudge him gently on the arm and ask him to look. He looks up from where he's nuzzling my neck.

We see the both of us and Zaknafein, walking in some sort of swamp. There are blackened trees around us and a pervading sense of wrong. The fact that even Zaknafein looks lost and frightened doesn't help - Zaknafein's never afraid, is he? Or if he is, he never shows it if there are others around him that are also afraid - that's one reason why he's a born leader even if he doesn't like leading.

Then Zak and him hold their swords in a stance and look ahead as if there's something worse in front of them, and I seem to be holding my daggers in an uncertain way as if there's obviously nothing that a sharp bit of metal can solve. He steps in front of me in the water as he usually does when there's something dangerous.

I can't see what we're seeing in the reflection.

He's breathing faster and I know he's frightened, though I don't know of what - his arms tighten around me and he whispers 'wraithe isle' into my ear. The words mean nothing to me, and I say so. He doesn't reply, but continues to watch.

There are these things stepping out of the trees, as if the trees budded a monstrous bud - they flowed out quite naturally. They look like mummified humans, gray and desiccated and horrifying, and they seem to have once been female. We (in the water) are back to back and we look frightened, I don't know what those creatures are but he says dryads and that must be what they are.

What is so frightening?

Then I see roots burst out of the ground and they grab the three of us in the water, holding us tight so we can't seem to move. Zaknafein's dropped one of his swords, the blue one he calls Frostbite, and he appears to be cursing but I can't hear anything. The birdcalls around the lake are incongruous to the horror we are witnessing.

Then the viewpoint of the lake swivels away to show another of the dead trees, except this one is much larger and the dryad inhabitant is even more horrifying, because she doesn't look like a mummy, she looks like a mutilated corpse. One her eyes has swelled shut and the other one is hanging rather grotesquely out of a red socket, she's drooling and her hair falls over her face and naked body which has so many red wounds in it she should be dead. She's even bleeding between the legs, and she's missing one hand and all the fingernails from the other, I'm crying here and probably also in the water, I'm so sorry for her, but she looks so...evil.

He's silent too instead of comforting me and I can tell he's also horrified. Because the viewpoint swivels back to show someone impaled on a long root beside her, and it's a man, or what looks like the remains of a man. He's also wounded from many places, impaled on many places by many roots and his eyes are wide open in old pain but he doesn't seem to be screaming out the pain he must feel, maybe because he already knows there's no use. He's all bloody and the hopeless desperation in his eyes is painful to see, before I know it I'm crying again.

He's saying something about so that's what happened to SinVarn, but I don't know who he is, but whatever he's done, I don't think he deserves this sort of thing.

The viewpoint pulls back to include us in the water, and I see that Zaknafein's shouting something. The rotting dryad steps forward, with some sort of horrible grace, and beckons, the roots let us go and we get out the tokens and show it to her.

She nods then, and waves vaguely, returning to the man...SinVarn, is it? She gestures, and a root pierces his foot. He screams. Zaknafein turns away. I (in the water) step forward, but he holds me back.

I ask him now what and who this SinVarn is, and he replies that SinVarn caused the Great War which destroyed a lot of Sanctuary in its time. So is this punishment, this eternal pain? I think it's cruel, really cruel, is this what the World-Makers do to those who anger them? I'm horrified and there're no more tears, I want to turn away but I can't.

In the water the tokens have begun to glow and then the three of us disappear, and the water abruptly changes back to its normal state.

Is that a vision of what would have been if we were to continue? Maybe it is, and if it is I don't want to continue. I don't want to see Wraithe Isle. I don't want to witness such pain, and I don't want to see something that can frighten both Zaknafein and him. Maybe I'm a coward at heart or whatever you call it, but I really don't want to continue.

I twist around and we embrace, we're both upset - I can feel it - and we're both confused and rather uncertain. I can touch his mind, he thinks this isn't real, but I know it is, if we wish to continue.

I don't want to.

There's a feeling of surfacing, and I realize my eyes are closed. I open them slowly and I see Zaknafein peering at me, Teiwaz is holding me and he smiles down at me. We're sitting on the bench, the two of us, back in Shoshuna's Realm.

Zaknafein says something sarcastic about sleeping, and that reminds me, I sit up, though still held by Teiwaz, and we look at each other's eyes and we know we've shared about the same dream.

What does that mean?

But Teiwaz is staring at the human next to Zaknafein, and if this was a cartoon, I have the feeling his jaw would hit the ground. The human smiles and says something softly to Zaknafein, who laughs, then the human turns and walks away into the westwards building.

Zaknafein is now demanding to know what Shoshuna said. He does that at times - when there's something he doesn't know which he thinks he should, he'd walk over everything until he knows it. Currently my brain is still sleep-fogged, and I can only stare at him, but Teiwaz has started speaking. Force of habit when faced with a command, I suppose.

Zaknafein listens and he looks very relieved.

Then I mention the bit about the lake and the vision, and he stops looking relieved and starts looking worried...he asks quietly at the end if that's all we saw, and I say no, I dreamt about a lot of other things too. Strangely I can remember them, usually I only remember the last dream, at most. I summarize them and then Teiwaz talks about his dreams, they're also about his life on Sanctuary, as if someone out there is trying to give us the essence of our lives in a few moments, and make us decide as to whether we're willing to leave...

I don't know what to do, and this feeling makes my eyes sting, but I refuse to cry. Teiwaz holds me a little tighter and that helps, I close my eyes and attempt to sleep again.

There's a feeling in the air, definite feeling, and I open my eyes. Morikan's seated quite neatly on the bench before us, all the white, nearly insufferable arrogance and wisdom of him, and he nods graciously as Zaknafein bows and Teiwaz tries to.

Shoshuna appears too, behind Morikan, and she smiles at the both of us, then says something to Morikan who nods impatiently. She goes off into the building closest to us and I feel more uncomfortable. I don't like Morikan much, and the absence of Shoshuna's making me feel even more nervous.

Morikan begins by asking rather politely if we've enjoyed ourselves.

I can only gape at him. Enjoyed ourselves? Why...

Without waiting for an answer, he looks at me and he seems to be waiting for something. I understand what he wants to know, and I try to think with those amazing eyes on me, those eyes that make you feel as though you're falling, falling through a sky of endless night and stars...

N'keman looked offended. "Of course you should! I'm hungry and tired and that Hrunarr would have finished us off more quickly if not for my absolutely amazing acrobatics in the air..."

"He must have the biggest mouth of all the Aesthirs," Teiwaz commented wryly. "I suppose you could give it to him..."

"I think he's the best," Rae grinned, holding the peach steady so N'keman could take dainty nibbles. "Even if he has a big mouth."

"I do not have a big mouth," N'keman protested, slightly muffled by the peach. "I am just supremely aware of my astounding abilities."

"And, he's too impressed with himself for his own good," Rae continued blithely. N'keman choked on a mouthful of peach and had to be soothed and placated.

"I'm not talking to you anymore," the Aesthir said primly, having finished the peach first.

"You said that yesterday, if I recall," Teiwaz said mildly.

N'keman danced uncertainly on his feet, then lay down, four hooves under him. "I'm surprised you remember anything at all. You two only have eyes for each other, sometimes it gets so sickening...must the lot of you always be in season? It's disgusting, you know. And probably unhealthy as well..."

"No more peach for you," Rae said firmly.

Teiwaz quickly pulled the basket away as N'keman made a snake-like snap for a peach, missed, and nearly fell over.

"Aww..." the Aesthir inched forward, then rested his head in Rae's lap. Rae sighed, then scratched him behind the ears.

"Baby," she scolded him.

N'keman twitched a ear. "You're sitting in someone's lap too. Oh. Happy Birthday. I gave you your present already. Can I have another peach? Please? With cream on top. And cherries. And peach."

"What did he give you?" Teiwaz asked curiously, handing Rae a peach.

"A sunflower," Rae juggled pie, drink and peach until Teiwaz gently took the cup away from her. "Biggest one I've ever seen, and it's beautiful, even if it was rather chewed..."

"How else do you expect me to hold something?" N'keman pointed out. "Hold that beautiful specimen of a peach closer, will you?"

"Don't drip all over these breeches," Rae said, finished her pie, and took the cup back from Teiwaz, and leaned on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her. N'keman sighed.

"Good thing lunch break isn't that long, or you'd never get your hands off him to do something more useful, like grooming me," N'keman complained.

"You're already groomed more than other Aesthir, you spoiled creature," Rae retorted. "I'd like to see how you fare when we start questing."

"We won't be questing anytime soon," N'keman replied. "Hey, hey! Don't close your eyes, you'd fall asleep. Rae! I'd have you know sleeping now is not productive. What's productive is feeding me..."

Rae opened one eye, and Teiwaz laughed softly near her ear. "I think we need to get into a no-Aesthir zone," he murmured.

"If I'm not here, poor me, the two of you will never even notice the world falling down around us." N'keman sniffed.

"Be quiet for a while, hmm?" Rae closed her eye. N'keman grumbled, but surprisingly complied.

Teiwaz shut his eyes and concentrated on feelings, the warm bulk of the Aesthir against them, the wind in his hair, the lingering taste of the picnic in his mouth, the smell of grass and flowers and Aesthir, and soft touch of Rae's hand on his, the rough bark of the tree on his back.

He was still a warrior - he decided not to choose to class over to Loremaster very early, and the talent was simply ignored. Some teachers complained a bit about this, but Morikan said that Talents usually don't go out of hand unless they berserk.

Rae joined the SkyKnights, and proved to be a good one - she was chosen quickly, and she worked hard because she loved what she did. She didn't feel homesick much anymore, and if she did she didn't show anything.

His father...Zaknafein had done something rather loud and disruptive, but whatever he did, LanC'edar's Head had been executed on charges. He didn't owe his mother anymore...she had protected Othila, himself and Uruz for many years after she realized what his father had done, sometimes to the detriment of her own health. Till today sometimes he wondered where his normally meek mother had found the backbone to actually actively protect her children, but it was a great debt he had to her. If his father had found out that she did it, of course, that there was something else to the 'submissive wife', he would have been seriously angry. And when his father was seriously angry, violence happened.

Berkana was matriarch of the household, and doing well. Uruz had declined to take up responsibilities as yet, and reports were that he and his wife suddenly were taking to each other very well. Strange, but Teiwaz and Rae suspected Shoshuna's hand in this. At least Uruz looked happy now.

Zaknafein was currently taking part of the Spear class as well as the Sword class, due to the decease of the Spear master. Until Morikan found another, the class was bigger now, but the dark elf wasn't complaining. He was stricter than the ex Spear master was, and the Spear students were improving.

The World-Makers had eased the bond a little to allow the both of them to separate without noticeable pain - only a dull disembodied ache of loss when the other was not in sight. Still, they shared a room. It caused a bit of problems that were still being sorted out - students slept in their schools, but Teiwaz was content to let someone else take the trouble of working it out.

Rae shifted in his lap, dislodging N'keman, who by the sound of it was nudging hopefully at the basket, and by her regular breathing was threatening to fall asleep. He nudged her, and she opened her eyes lazily, and looked up.

"Do you miss your home?" he murmured.

"Sometimes," Rae said, her normal answer to that question, "And then I look around Sanctuary and I don't...not really. The sky's really blue today..."

He followed her gaze, up to the clouds and to the azure sky, and thought of love, and flowers, and the taste of vrau and peaches and the scent of her hair...

Somewhere in the city a silver dragon looks up as if at the same sky, rolls over in the warm water of its building onto its back, with the lazy smugness of one who has had his way...

Rae thinks idly of quests and dreams and tokens and a school nearly forgotten, and smiles, sadly, gladly, contentedly, and wonders about nothing in particular, and smiles again as a butterfly flits above her, in a mad pattern in the breeze, falling and not falling at the same time, a bright orange monarch, that hovers before them for an instant before dancing away.