Dragon's LibraryWeaving White And Silver: Part 05
by Selinthia Avenchesca

His father was sitting by the bedside when Rand awoke. The women and Bran were nowhere to be seen, and Tam was staring at the ceiling, a sad expression upon his face. Rand's lips twisted into a little smile as he remembered a similar scene of almost eight years previous. Tam had been exhausted after a wounding by Trolloc blade, and a One Power healing. Rand had been dreaming, dreaming old memories and new ones mixed together. He had woken up, and so had Tam, and they had spoken of the Aes Sedai, and her warnings...

"Good evening," his voice came out in a hoarse whispered.

Tam started, and then stared at his son. Silence stretched out between them. Rand met Tam's eyes in an almost defiant manner, not stopping to think that the last time he'd used that look was when he was fourteen years old, and he'd first kissed Egwene. He hadn't felt he'd done anything wrong, but he'd thought that maybe Tam would think so.

"Good evening, lad," Tam's voice was even hoarser than Rand's own. Rand's defiant look faded when he recognized a faint spark in Tam's eyes. Almost, he turned away then, sickened. It was fear; Tam was afraid of him, though disguising it well enough.

"Well, I didn't expect to wake up in fresh sheets, I'll tell you that much," Rand said.

Tam nodded deeply, and replied, "Marin was very frightened, and so was Bran. But Emond's Fielders take care of their own."

Rand let loose a harsh bark of laughter, "I wonder whether I am an Emond's Fielder, at all. I've discovered more than one fact since I left the nest. Such as my Aiel descent," he mused, remembering the manner in which many people had identified him with the Aiel, remembering Tam's own rambling in the forest that Winternight that seemed so long ago. Remembering the day he had stared in the mirror with the memories of the Aiel of the Age of Legends in his head.

Tam didn't seem surprised, "You may not be my blood, but you'll always be my son."

Rand smiled briefly. "And the memories of the man I was more than three thousand years ago. I remember the events of then with my death and the intervening period as but a violent sleep. Has my dear wife spoken to you of this, or is it news?" he had unconsciously slipped into a slightly sarcastic, icy mode of speech.

Tam frowned deeply again and said, "I can't say I approve of the lass, Rand."

"I can't say I do, either. I haven't for a long time, but I fell in love with her without knowing who she was. And by the time I did remember, it was a bit late to turn back."

"We all have our sharp turns, lad," Tam said with a nervous chuckle, trying to make light of the matter.

"I believe I've had a few more than most. Father... ," he hesitated upon the word, unwittingly seeing another image replace the sturdy man in the chair beside him. A tall man, with caramel coloured hair, and a solid built. Blue eyes, though, and not as tall as he himself had grown to be. His height had come from his mother's side then too. ... Rand shook his head sharply, determined to talk to Tam, not to a man long dead and gone.

Tam misunderstood, and tried to convince him that Rand was still his son, no matter what he could do, or who he was.

"How much did she tell you?" Rand asked abruptly, trying to regain his footing.

"Only who she is, who you are," Tam looked wry for a moment, "It's strange day when a man needs to be told who his own son is."

"I wanted to see my home again. Because it is my home. I wanted to see those who have no true knowledge of the Shadow. I wanted to see you! I wanted to introduce my wife to you, like a son should! I wanted - oh, Light, I should have known better. If there's one thing that I should have learned, it is that I am not like others, that I am ta'veren, and a curse on anyone who would wish for that! Damn it! Damn the Pattern!" his face contorted in rage, and his hand smashed down upon the mattress, silver fire flaring out all around it, singing the sheets, leaving the smell of burnt fabric in the air, even as the flame flared magnificently.

"Marin will throw you out if you keep up with that," Tam said ironically.

Rand blinked, and then chuckled. "I guess I better keep a leash on my temper, then," that became more difficult every day, but he didn't bother to say that. The air was still tense enough.

"You sound like a condemned man who wants his last meal, lad," Tam observed, "Why is it you were so anxious to come back, after seven years away?"

Rand stared up at the ceiling. This, the heart of the matter.

"I have a destiny. I am the Dragon. I am to oppose the Dark One, to resist him and defeat him and prevent him from consuming the world. Matters were so clean cut before. I was simply to seal up the Bore, take the Hundred Companions and do it. It wasn't an approved plan. I'm sure the children that call themselves Aes Sedai would be unsurprised with that. I was opposed, but I knew that something must be done. And so I did it in secret. I took them, and I sealed it up. And saidin was tainted. And I killed them all..." he trailed off, trying to suppress them memories of blasted corridors and scattered corpses of his children. "And now there are a thousand prophecies and more with my name on them. And what am I to do when I am married to one of the Forsaken, I am tempted on all sides by offers of ultimate power if only I will give up my very soul, and Lanfear..." he took a deep breath, seeing again that blasted corridor. "She is with child."

Rand heard with startling clarity the exhale that burst from Tam, opening his own eyes, and locking stares with his father.

"I didn't know it was possible with..."

"The Forsaken? They're human, and so it is. Of course, some were imprisoned near the surface, and as Aginor said, the Wheel grinds exceedingly fine. But she slept deeply, close to her Great Lord, and retained her youth and fertility. I am torn. I know the consequences. That child, whether male or female, will be very powerful indeed, perhaps enough to surpass us both, and who knows what such a being may be tempted to? Who knows what sort of world we would be bringing it into. And so what I should I do? Accept the Dark One's offer and work from the inside? Or give into the Fate prophesised for me, and fight? Things were so much more simple," he shook his head in weariness.

"Lad," Tam started, near choking on the word. Rand held up a hand, a stern expression upon his face. "Don't say anything, Father. It is my decision and I would not place that burden upon you. Never let it be said that I abandoned my duty. What I must decide now is which duty is greater."

Tam said nothing, though his heart ached with sympathy and horror both, and the silence grew ever deeper. Eventually, Tam left.

***

"We should call upon the Reds," Nynaeve was shocked to hear Egwene declare to her mother.

"Egwene!" the former Wisdom hissed. "It's Aes Sedai business, you shouldn't be talking about it to your mother. And seven years ago you would have taken our your own heart rather than let the Reds know about Rand."

"His whole side is rotten through. Who knows what madness has descended upon him?" Egwene said coldly.

"You're only saying this because you're jealous about Selene," Nynaeve said flatly.

"Selene! She's Lanfear!" Egwene hissed in loathing, "And the Tower must know about Rand, if he truly is the Dragon Reborn."

Nynaeve's stomach recoiled and performed several flips, but she managed to say, "He's an Emond's Fielder, and you're going to rat out on him to the Tower. To women who'd jump on him like scarlet adder in a nursery," she quoted the classic phrase.

"I can't help that," Egwene said, starting to tear up, "But the world must be made safe. It must be!"

"Egwene al'Vere, you straighten up right this instant and stop making excuses," Marin snapped, suddenly every inch the stern parent, "I may not know Aes Sedai business, and I may not like the idea of men channelling, but you either do this for the right reasons, or not at all. Do it out of jealousy and heartache and you'll never forgive yourself. You might as well be given to the Dark One!"

Egwene's eyes widened in anger and horror. That was as good as an accusation of being a Darkfriend, which for an Aes Sedai was an accusation of being Black Ajah, the ultimate insult.

"Mother--!"

"Don't you 'Mother' me! That man is lying up-stairs near dead from something he can't help, and you're contemplating calling up on the Red Ajah! You ought to be ashamed of yourself!"

Egwene flushed at the lectures, and opened her mouth to retort, when without warning Lanfear swept into the room alongside Tam.

"He should be fine," Lanfear announced, "For the moment. However, if even his formidable control was not enough to keep the Power's scrounge in check this time, then he must be weakening in body and mind, even further now. He has controlled the madness enough, thus far, but I fear that it shall take ever increasing effort, effort that even he may not have. However, I know the direct cause of this event."

"What is it?" Egwene demanded, glad to have something to distract her from her mother's damning words, though some part of her was rather surprised that the woman was revealing this information so freely. Perhaps she was still somewhat in shock herself.

"I have been contacted by a colleague of mine, and it is known that the fifth seal upon the Great Lord's prison has been shattered. Lews Therin must have accessed saidin at that exact moment of the breaking. Because the male half is so in tune with the Dark One due to the taint, there is a connection. Lews Therin is the Dark One's earthly counterpoint, and so the connection is even closer. With his increasing instability, it makes him even closer. He must have felt the seal breaking, and it shook him completely. We are lucky that he was not destroyed by saidin in that moment," she trailed off, and, absently, placed a hand upon her slender middle, rubbing for a moment. An instant later, she realized her motion, and shot a hostile look all around the room, before hissing, "I am going to see Lews Therin," spinning on her heel to stalk out.

Marin looked shocked. She'd seen a great many expectant young mothers in her time, and that motion, that half worried, half enchanted caress of the stomach, was characteristic of them all. The innkeeper's wife closed her eyes, opening them a moment later, only to meet Nynaeve's eyes and see in them the same sick recognition as she was sure lurked in her own. The Dark One was breaking free, Rand was the Dragon Reborn and dying, married to a Forsaken who was having his child.

Bran was returning from the privy, just entering the room, when the air split opened, and a tall, dark haired, hawk nosed man appeared, a small snarl, half smile, upon his lips.

"I am here to deliver an ultimatum to my good friend the Dragon," the man spoke smoothly. "I never expected to find him in such charming provincial surroundings. Perhaps, madam," he spoke to Marin, "You could lead the rest of the way?"

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