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Lloth is the goddess of Chaos.
By most drow's standards, my time in Menzoberranzan was very short. For me, it was far too long. I saw things there that no one should ever have to see or even hear about. As appalled as I was, I often think back to it when the subject of chaos comes up. What went on in that cursed city was not really chaos in the truest sense of the word.
Chaos is the unpredictable nature of the universe. Weather is perhaps the best example of this. As good as the sailors and pirates along the Sword Coast are at predicting the weather, they are still caught unawares as storms roll in from out of nowhere. Blizzards in the north and sandstorms in the south pop up without warning and leave just as quickly. It should be noted that this type of chaos does not exist in the underdark. There is no weather or even modest temperature changes in the dark realm of my people. Any normality this should inspire is thrown to the wind, which also doesn't exist.
True chaos is unpredictable and uncontrollable. No one can harness it and to approach its understanding would be to approach god-hood. Surely the events in Menzoberranzan catch most off guard, to say the least. Doomed houses have no idea their fate is only hours away as they go about their daily business. The magic of the Lloth Priestesses is also very unpredictable. They might summon a powerful creature from the abyss to help them in battle only to have the hell-spawn turn on them without provocation.
As wild and unpredictable as life in Menzoberranzan can be, it is not true chaos. Someone is always pulling the strings. Whether that someone is Matron Baenre, Jarlaxle, or even myself at times, someone always knows what is going on and what the outcome will be. The drow practice organized chaos.
I feel this is the main reason why my people will not survive. Everyone is practicing deceit and betrayal because that is what their deity requires of them. Some are better than others, and they survive. The weak are eliminated. The problem with this life style is that when the weakest house is destroyed, there is always another house waiting to take its place. With as often as they kill each other and as infrequently as they reproduce, the drow can not survive.
Does this sadden me? Not really. On one hand I realize that there could be more like me. How many other drow have lived like Zaknafein, fighting against the system hoping to make a difference? How many other drow have redeemable qualities? I will cast my vote for, "Not many."
Still there is a corner of my heart that wishes a few drow will survive. Drow are a beautiful race. Maybe as they near extinction they will see the folly of their ways and will seek to change themselves. Until that time comes, and I believe it will come, though long after I am gone, they will continue to kill themselves and live in their organized chaos.
-- Drizzt Do'Urden
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