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The moment his shuttle came out of hyperspace Vader reached out with his mind to touch that of his son, but instead of finding the comforting presence of Luke's mind he came up against a solid barrier. Vader frowned behind his mask as he probed the barrier, hoping to be able to pick up any of Luke's emotions. But it was no use, from this far away the barrier was doing what it was meant to do, it was concealing everything within his son's mind.
He wondered how long ago his son had regained his memory, it could have been the night he had left, or it could have been minutes before he had arrived out of hyperspace. The instant the shuttle ramp came down he descended it and headed indoors.
"My lord," Marcus said as he approached Vader.
"Later," Vader ordered.
Quickly he ascended the stairs, walked to Luke's room, and entered. As he entered he noticed Luke standing before the huge window, dressed in his black robes and cape. Smiling to himself he approached his son and saw that Luke half turned his head towards him before he looked back out the window. Stopping a few feet behind his son he waited.
There was a moment of silence which seemed to drag on forever for Luke, for although he seemed calm and controlled on the outside his emotions were like a black, raging, storm inside of him. He felt confusion, anger, disgust, horror, and love all at once. He was angry at the way his father had lied and mislead him to make him think that he was an Imperial, he was disgusted and horrified at the way he had behaved and what he had done since his run-in with the horangi. And yet the happiness he had felt with his father he had never felt before in his life, during the time when he hadn't known who he was he had at least felt like he belonged, like he was where he was meant to be. This was something he had never felt before in his life, not even with the Alliance. He had also come to love his father and known that he was loved in return, something else he had never experienced.
"You've regained your memory," Vader finally stated, shattering the silence.
"You lied to me," Luke accused as he looked out the window. "You said I was an Imperial."
"No," Vader denied. "Not once during your whole stay with me did I lie to you. On Coruscant Palpatine lied to you, but I never did. You merely assumed from my words that you were an Imperial like I am."
"No," Luke replied stiffening slightly. "That's not true."
"It is," Vader insisted as he reached out and placed a hand on his son's shoulder. "Think about it."
Quickly Luke shrugged the hand off of his shoulder. Thinking about the time spent with his father he couldn't find a single moment when he had been lied to, but that didn't mean it hadn't happened, he had after all been with his father for two and a half months! Two and a half months during which he had not only decoded a message of the Alliance and helped plan an attack on the base, but he had also tortured other Rebels and he had even ordered one of them killed! Closing his eyes at the thought of the torture scene he had so calmly stood through he leaned against the wall where it met the window.
"Luke," Vader said after a few moments. "Join me, stay here."
Slowly Luke opened his eyes, once again his father was asking him to join him, to stay with him, to learn from him, and to be with him; just like he'd always wanted. The fact that he was wanted and would feel like he belonged pulled at him, urging him to say yes, to have his childhood dreams and longings come true. But then he thought of the Hammerhead he had tortured and killed, of how he had helped his father create the attack plans that had destroyed one fourth of the Alliance.
"No," he stated but, to his dismay, he heard his voice shake with the uncertainty he felt inside of himself.
Feeling the conflict within his son Vader took a step forward.
"Why not?" he asked.
"You're evil, you take pleasure in hurting people," Luke stated. "I'm not like you."
"Did you not enjoy helping me make the plans to attack the Rebel base?" Vader inquired. "Or did you not enjoy getting the information from those slaves?"
Luke flinched visibly at his father's words.
"I..." Luke began. "Only because I didn't remember who I was, I didn't remember what and whom I cared about."
"If you stay here I can show you how to be like that again," Vader offered.
"No!" Luke exclaimed, but even as he said it he could feel part of himself wanting to accept the offer, to learn from his father as he had always wanted.
"Very well," Vader stated knowing that he couldn't win with the method he was using. "Goodbye."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Luke asked instantly as he felt a sudden wave of panic wash over him.
Vader smiled behind his mask as he heard the fear in his son's voice, although the boy claimed that he didn't want to stay he didn't want to leave either.
"It means whatever you want it to mean," he explained as he placed his hands on Luke's shoulders. "It can mean goodbye until later today, it can mean goodbye for a couple of weeks if you chose to leave for a little while and then come back, or it can mean goodbye forever if you chose to leave for good and return to the Alliance and your life as an orphan."
Luke felt his whole body stiffen and go cold at the last word. Feeling Luke's muscles tense under his hands Vader continued:
"The choice is entirely yours, I will not force you to do anything," he paused for a moment to let this sink in. "When I first learned of the after effects of the poison I decided not to tell you everything immediately as I wanted to get to know you and I wanted you to be able to experience what life would be like if you decided to stay. For how can you chose what you want if you don't know all your options? Now, if you still want to leave, you may take the second shuttle and go. You will find everything you need on board and, should you change your mind later on, you may come back whenever you wish."
With this he reached over and briefly caressed Luke's cheek with the back of his hand before he turned around and left the room.
As soon as his father left the room Luke collapsed against the wall and began to tremble. Why did he feel so torn? His father was evil, was Dark, why did he feel like he needed to be with him? He had lots of friends within the Alliance, why did he feel this pull towards Vader?
'Because he's your father,' a tiny voice within himself replied. 'You belong at his side.'
Pushing the voice away he thought about Leia, Chewie, Wedge, Lando, and all the pilots in his squadron. Where they still alive? Or had they died during the attack on the base? And what about Han? Was he still frozen in carbonite or had Leia and Lando rescued him already?
Looking at the second shuttle on the landing pad through the window he quickly made up his mind. No matter how much he longed to stay with his father he knew he couldn't. After all Vader wasn't the father he had longed to know as a child...was he? No, he wasn't.
Having made up his mind he quickly turned around and left the room. He made his way to the shuttle as fast as he could. He didn't want his father to change his mind and decide that he wasn't going to let his son go away. Besides he didn't want to give himself time to change his own mind.
Boarding the shuttle he closed the ramp and made his way towards the ship's cockpit.
***
Standing in front of one of the windows in his room Vader silently watched as the shuttle containing his only son lifted off. He watched it until it disappeared behind the clouds, then waited a few moments before he sent a final message to Luke:
'May the Force be with you child.'
***
Leaning forward in the pilot's chair Luke took hold of the hyperspace levers and was about to pull them back when he heard his father's voice in his head:
'May the Force be with you child.'
Quickly, before he could change his mind, he pulled back the levers and watched the stars streak into lines. Then he fell back into the chair. Why had his father done that? Why had he sent that message?
Frustrated he jumped to his feet and began pacing the cockpit. After several minutes he forced himself to relax by opening himself to the Light Side and letting it flow through him. Finally relaxed he walked out of the cockpit to explore the rest of the ship. Most of it was just like any other private ship he'd been on except for the fact that he found a change of clothes and a pile of credits in the bedroom.
Picking up the money he realized that he now held more money in his hands then he had ever seen before. Should he keep the money or not? His father had given it to him, but where had he gotten it from? The Empire? And where had they gotten it from? Probably taken from some hardworking individuals who had needed it for their own families. Disgusted he dropped the credits back onto the table, he didn't want money from the Empire.
Walking to the bunk he looked down at the clothes and blaster lying there. They were the kind of clothes Han and other space pirates liked to wear. A smile slowly spread across his face as he realized that if he wore those clothes when he returned no one would know that he'd spent time with Vader or the Empire.
The smile quickly faded however as he realized that the Alliance would probably put him through a heavy cross-examination when he returned and that he'd have to lie or else be sent straight to a detention cell. Sitting down on the bed in dismay he closed his eyes, he'd have to lie to Leia, Lando, Wedge, and maybe even Han just like Obi-Wan had lied to him about his father. If they were still alive.
***
Four days later,
Dressed in the pirate clothes, which had been exactly his size, Luke leaned forward and pushed the hyperspace levers forward, instantly bringing him out of hyperspace above Lantooine. Lantooine was one of the busier and more known Outer Rim Territory planets where he knew the Alliance often collected recruits. Which was why he was here, because as the Alliance base had moved he had no idea where it was now and the only way for him to rejoin the Rebels was to get in touch with one of the recruiters. They would then contact someone who could help him back.
"Zorga's Pride we now have you on our radar," a voice over the com stated. "Please state your destination."
"Mos Lispa spaceport," Luke nearly snapped, then blinked in surprise at his own attitude.
Why had he reacted like that? It was just a normal question, they had to be able to keep track of where all the traffic was going in the area. So why had he snapped at the person on the other end of the com? Then it hit him: he had gotten into the habit of being superior to almost everybody else.
Shaking his head he decided to think before he spoke, or else the whole lie he had made up to tell everyone would fall apart around him. After a lot of debating he had decided that, despite the way he hated to lie, it would be the best way to go about the situation. He had also decided that it would be better to use the money his father had given him then to throw it away, which would be a real waste. If he used the money to get back to the Alliance then the people whose money it had been hadn't given it up in vain.
"Okay," the voice replied stiffly. "Permission granted to land at docking bay 62 in Mos Lispa's spaceport."
"Docking bay 62, thank you," Luke replied and was sure that he had now completely confused the person on the other end of the com.
Guiding the ship his father had given him he quickly entered Lantooine's atmosphere and set her down in docking bay 62. Getting up from his seat he adjusted the blaster strapped to his right leg and made sure that the zipper on the pocket that contained his lightsaber worked well. Then he picked up the bag containing the clothes he had worn while with his father and the money he had gotten before he turned around and exited the ship.
Locking up the ship for what he knew would be the last time as well as the first he wondered again if his father had planted a homing beacon aboard it or not. Considering the fact that his father hadn't lied to him during his stay with him, and he was now sure that he hadn't, it was improbable that he would have planted a homing beacon on this ship. An honest Vader. If anyone had told him that before his run-in with the horangi he would have laughed, but not anymore. His father had shown him that he wasn't completely full of deceit.
Quickly he pushed all thoughts of his father out of his head. His father was an Imperial and he was a Rebel. They were enemies. Yet he couldn't just leave it at that. He had come to learn to love his father during their time together and now he felt a strong sense of loss. Suppressing a frustrated sigh, he walked away from the ship. He had to do what he knew was right and fighting the Empire was right. Walking down a street in Mos Lispa he looked around for a cantina where he might find someone to sell the ship too.
***
A week and a half later,
Sitting in one of the cantinas in Mos Lispa, Luke sighed as he took another sip of the Corellian ale he had ordered. He had found someone willing to buy the ship almost immediately and, after that, he had found a storage area in the spaceport where people could rent lockers. He had gotten one of the lockers and put the bag with his clothes and a little over three-quarters of the money his father had given him into it. The remaining money, along with what he had gotten for the ship, he had kept to rent a room and buy food. What he had left after that he could say he had earned while working for the pirate who had found and then taken care of him while he'd healed, the lie he had created to tell everyone who asked where he had been.
Looking around the cantina he wondered how long it would take for the Alliance recruiter to approach him. During his time on Lantooine he had dropped several subtle hints that he was interested in joining the Alliance. He knew, through the Force, that he had been followed for the past four days, a precaution step taken by recruiters to make sure that a possible Rebel wasn't really an Imperial in disguise. Still, the recruiter should be approaching him soon.
Taking another sip of his ale, he looked down at the hand holding the glass, his right hand, his prosthetic hand. He felt anger rise within him as he remembered how calmly his father had sliced off his hand on Cloud City. It was hard to imagine that that was the same father that had loved and cared for him for the past ten weeks. True, he had hurt his father first, but he hadn't known that it was his father he struck. His father had known who he was. But then his father had only taken his hand and not his life, as he easily could have. Thinking of this he suddenly remembered how he had told his father that he hoped he would kill the Jedi student soon. Pushing both unpleasant thoughts from his mind he took another sip of the ale.
He was just about to get up and go when he sensed the now familiar presence of the recruiter enter the cantina. Quickly he signaled for the waitress to come.
"Another Corellian ale," he ordered.
"Sure," the Twi'lek replied in heavily accented Basic as she left to get his drink.
Several minutes later the Twi'lek placed the drink before him just as a human came up and sat down in the vacant chair at his table.
"Hey," Luke said casually, just as if he knew the man well.
"Hello," the man replied as he quickly glanced around the cantina to make sure no one was listening to them. "I hear you're interest in joining the Alliance."
"Actually," Luke began as he took a sip of his drink. "I'm interested in rejoining the Alliance."
"What?" the man exclaimed as his right hand slid below the table to his blaster. "Rejoining the Alliance?"
"Yes," Luke confirmed as he probed the recruiter's Force aura, looking to see if he was planning on using his blaster or not. "The last mission I was on was a total failure. As if that wasn't enough, there were other complications and now I want to get back to the Alliance. Only the base has changed so this is the only way for me to get back."
It wasn't a total lie, it was only a brief overview of what had actually happened, minus all that he had done for the Empire. He felt a sudden chill go up his spine as he realized that this was exactly what his father had done to him.
"So, who are you then?" the recruiter asked.
"What?" Luke asked, snapping out of his thoughts.
"Who are you and what was your rank within the Alliance?"
"I am Skywalker, Commander Luke Skywalker," Luke replied, feeling like he was lying as he did so.
"Commander Skywalker?" the recruiter repeated skeptically.
"Yes," Luke replied, a little sharper then he had intended. "Look, take a retina scan and cross-checked it against the Alliance file. Although I wouldn't be surprised if my file is listed under the dead."
"Under the dead?" the man questioned, disbelief radiating from him. "Just how long ago was this failed mission?"
"Close to three months ago," Luke replied, getting annoyed.
Sighing, the recruiter seemed to hesitate for a moment, but quickly made his decision with a small mental push from Luke.
"All right," he said pulling out a small scanner from his pocket. "Hold this scanner up to your eye."
Nodding Luke took the scanner and quickly held it over his right eye.
"I will meet you here again some time this week."
"Good," Luke responded, forcing himself to remain calm.
Ever since he had left his father he had had problems controlling his anger, hate, and patience. He kept expecting everybody to instantly obey him and not to question him. As he watched the man leave he sighed inwardly and made a mental note of trying to rid himself of the bad habits he had learned while with his father. Closing his eyes he shook his head at the irony of it all. Once he had wanted nothing more than to have a father and to learn from him. Now that he had a father, he wanted to get away from him and unlearn what he had been taught by him.
Quickly he opened his eyes, finished his drink, and got up. Every time he so much as thought of his father his old feelings of longing and dreams unfulfilled resurfaced. Despite the fact that he knew his father was evil, even though he knew it would be betrayal, he still longed for his father, to be with him, to learn from him, to be loved by him, and to feel like he belonged, just like he had the past three months.
Leaving the cantina, he hoped that the recruiter would contact him soon. If he didn't he feared that he would find himself giving into his longing and return home. He froze at the thought. He had never really thought of any place he had been as home, not even Tatooine. Now he had spent ten weeks on a planet he had hardly ever heard of before and he was already thinking of it as home!
Clenching his hands in frustration he quickly headed back to the room he was renting.
***
Three days later,
Looking up from the Alderaanian ale he was drinking, Luke smiled as he saw the Alliance recruiter enter the cantina. As the man looked around he lifted his hand and the recruiter came right over to him.
"Commander Skywalker," he whispered softly as he took a seat opposite Luke.
"So I passed the test?" Luke asked as he took another sip of the ale.
"Yes Sir," the man replied nervously. "I'm sorry for my earlier skepticism and disrespect, but--"
"Never mind," Luke stated with a wave of his hand. "It was for Alliance security, I know all that."
"Yes Sir," the recruiter replied stiffly, making Luke realize that he had switched back to his demanding voice.
"Very well," Luke said softly. "What is your name and what am I to do now?"
"My name is Klyn, Lieutenant Santiago Klyn," Santiago stated, confusion at Luke's behavior radiating from him. "I've received direct orders from Mon Mothma to bring you to the new base."
"Which is where?" Luke automatically ordered.
"Aljabratar, Sir," Santiago replied after a moment's hesitation.
"Call me Luke," Luke stated, mentally kicking himself for his behavior as he took another sip of his ale.
Obviously he hadn't gotten rid of the bad habits as he'd thought he had. Reaching out with the Force he touched Santiago's mind and found that the man was beginning to doubt whether he was actually the Rebel hero who had destroyed the Death Star. The Death Star. A sudden, unexpected, wave of guilt washed over him as he remembered the Battle of Yavin. He had always felt bad that he had killed so many people, but this, this was real guilt, guilt that he had done something extremely wrong, something that was inexcusable. But that was ridiculous. He had done it to save his friends...to save the Alliance.
"Mon Mothma said that I was to bring you to the new base as soon as possible," Santiago said, pulling Luke out of his thoughts.
"Very well," Luke replied. "I'm ready when you are."
"Then I suggest we leave now."
"All right then," Luke agreed as he got up, finished his ale, and followed Santiago out of the cantina.
As he and Santiago traveled through the streets of Mos Lispa to the spaceport, he decided that the only way to rid himself of the bad habits he had was watching every word he said. This way might make it harder for people to talk with him as he'd be slower in responding, but at least he wouldn't snap at them or act superior, the way he felt.
"Well," Santiago said as they entered one of the docking bays. "Here's the ship. She may not be fast, but she looks like just another civilian ship, so she'll easily get past the Imps."
Luke just nodded his head and followed Santiago onto the ship.
***
Five days later,
"Luke," Santiago called out as the chronometer started its count down for when he had to push the hyperspace levers forward and bring them out of hyperspace. "We're almost there."
"Coming," Luke replied seconds before he entered the cockpit and sat down in the co-pilots chair.
After he sat down Santiago pushed forward the levers and the ship instantly came out of hyperspace. As Luke watched Santiago handle the controls he smiled, thinking of how well he had managed to control his behavior for the past few days. His smile quickly faded as he remembered that it wouldn't be long before he would have to lie to his friends and the Alliance high command.
Trying to push the thought aside, he turned his attention back to Santiago as the man opened a secured com channel to the base.
"Rock two point nine, this is eagle six point eight," Santiago stated.
"Eagle six point eight, we have you on our radar," a voice replied. "Do you have Commander Skywalker?"
"Yes," Santiago responded, looking over at Luke.
"Okay you have permission to land," the voice stated before the com channel was closed.
"Well," Santiago began as he descended the ship into Aljabratar's atmosphere. "Welcome home."
Luke flinched at the use of the word home and Santiago caught it.
"I'm sorry," he instantly apologized. "I didn't mean to bring up any unwanted memories."
"No," Luke replied, feeling guilty that he'd thought of his father's castle at the word and not of the moisture farm on Tatooine where he'd been raised. "It's not that...it's...something else."
Santiago just nodded his head as he lowered the spaceship into an empty space on the outside landing pad.
"Well, here you are," he said uncomfortably.
"Thank you," Luke replied as he got up. "For bringing me back."
"No problem, and good luck," Santiago replied.
"The same to you," Luke stated as he exited the cockpit and made his way towards the ship's ramp.
"Luke!" Leia called out as she rushed up to him just as he reached the bottom of the ramp.
"Leia," Luke replied with a smile as he embraced her.
"You're alive!" Leia whispered as she returned his embrace. "You're alive!"
"Of course I am," Luke replied as he stepped, keeping his hands on Leia's shoulders.
"After the team vanished without a trace we thought everyone had died or been captured. Especially when we didn't hear anything after two weeks," Leia said, happiness and joy radiating from her.
"The others are dead," Luke stated as his smile vanished at the memory of the horangi attacking and killing his companions.
Leia's hazel brown eyes studied him for a moment before she spoke.
"I'm sorry Luke," she said softly. "What happened? What went wrong? And where did you get those clothes?"
"Well--" Luke began.
"Luke, kid!" Han exclaimed as he suddenly appeared behind Leia.
"Han!" Luke exclaimed incredulously before the pirate pulled him into an embrace.
"I knew you weren't dead kid," Han stated pulling back. "I knew it!"
"How?" Luke questioned. "How'd you know and how'd you get out of the carbonite and away from Jabba?"
"Leia, Lando, and Chewie got me out," Han informed his young friend.
"You'll have to tell me all about that later," Luke stated.
"Yes," Leia agreed. "But now tell us what happened to you."
"That's a long story," Luke said, not wanting to lie but knowing he had to.
He couldn't let them know the truth about his heritage. Who knew what would happen then, or what would happen when they learned of what he had done? Looking into the waiting eyes of Han and Leia, he opened his mouth to lie to them when, suddenly, two huge furry arms grabbed him from behind and lifted him off his feet.
"What?!" Luke exclaimed as he instinctively fought to get out of the grasp of the alien holding him.
As soon as he lashed out, the arms holding him released him and he dropped back to the ground.
"Luke," Leia said, stepping towards him with a funny look on her face. "What's wrong? It's only Chewie's way of welcoming you back."
"Chewie?" Luke repeated as he turned around and looked up at a hurt and confused Chewbacca. "I..." he began as he fought to push aside the revulsion that he felt. This was his friend! "I was just surprised. I didn't mean anything, Chewie, honestly."
Standing still he held his breath, wondering if Chewbacca would accept the lie. Looking at him Chewie gave a short soft growl, saying that he understood before he reached out and engulfed his young friend in another hug. As Chewie's arms wrapped around him again, Luke fought down the feelings of revulsion, superiority, and guilt that threatened to overwhelm him and make him react in a way he'd later regret. Finally, unable to stand it any longer, he pulled back.
"I can't breath, Chewie," he lied.
Chewie instantly let go of him and gave a short amused bark as he reached over and tussled Luke's hair.
"Hey!" Luke exclaimed stepping back and reaching up to smooth his hair. "You're messing up my hair!"
Han roared with laughter and Leia brought her hand up to her mouth to hide a smile. Chewie looked at him for a second before he started laughing softly and shaking his head. Luke felt a wave of relief wash over him as his friends relaxed. His first confrontation was over, but it had shown that he had overlooked a major thing: his newly acquired revulsion for aliens. He should have thought about it before, but he hadn't. And since he hadn't come into contact with any aliens since he had left Melca it hadn't not occurred to him. However Chewie was bound to both touch and hug him so he had to make sure that his instincts didn't kick in and make him pull away. The surprise lie had worked once, but it wouldn't work again.
He sighed inwardly and mentally cursed his current position.
'You don't have to be here you know,' the small voice in his head said. 'You could go back to your father, you could go back home.'
Instantly he shook his head and pushed the voice aside. His father was evil and he couldn't betray his friends...could he?
"I'm sorry to end your little reunion, but the Alliance high command wants to see you, Luke," Lando said as he walked up to the group.
"Lando," Luke replied as he shook Lando's hand.
"General Calrissian to you," Lando replied proudly.
"General?" Luke asked, pretending to be impressed.
"Yes," Lando confirmed. "But Mon Mothma said you were to come right away."
"Okay, okay," Luke replied, a hard edge to his voice. "I heard you the first time."
"Sorry," Lando said, raising his hands in a defensive gesture. "Just wanted to make sure."
Sighing out loud, Luke shook his head.
"No, I'm sorry," he stated. "I've just been through so much lately and I've not quite recovered yet."
"I suggest that we go to the conference room and you can tell your story once instead of two or three times," Leia said, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder as she started to walk towards the conference room.
"Good idea," Luke agreed, smiling at Leia. "But what about Han and Wedge?"
"Han's a General now too and Wedge has taken your place as a Commander, so they'll both be there," Leia informed him.
"A General?" Luke asked, looking surprised.
"Yes," Han replied simply. "Now I outrank you."
Luke stiffened at the comment and was already reaching out with the Force to strike Han with his anger before he stopped himself.
"I guess you do," he stated, his voice empty of any emotion.
Han gave him a quizzical look and was about to reply when they reached the doors to the conference room and entered.
"Luke!" Wedge exclaimed as he got up and walked over to embrace his friend. "It's great to have you back, even if it might mean me being bumped out of the position of commander."
Luke let out a short laugh as he returned his friend's embrace.
"Wedge," he said. "It'd great to see you."
"Commander Skywalker," Mon Mothma said as soon as Luke pulled out of the embrace. "It's good to have you back. However, I would like to know why you didn't return immediately after the mission, where the other members of you team are, why the mission failed, and where you have been since the mission."
Luke slowly turned away from his friends and faced Mon Mothma, head of the Alliance and a woman he had never really liked. His anger rose at the tone she had used to address him with. The tone had been full of authority, full of superiority, full of assurance that he would answer her. He was tempted to refuse, to say she had no right to know, to show her who he was, to strike her down with the Force for her disrespect, but he pushed those thoughts aside and lowered his eyes.
"It's a long story," he said as his eyes drifted over the other people seated at the circular conference table.
Sitting to Mothma's right was a Mon Calamari he hadn't seen before, but the insignia on his chest said he was an admiral. Sitting next to the admiral was General Rieekan who nodded to him when their eyes meet. Sitting to Mothma's left was General Madine, a man whom he hated and who hated him.
"Then take a seat and tell us," the admiral ordered.
Luke nodded and sat down opposite of Mon Mothma while Leia and Han took a seat on either side of him. Wedge sat down next to Leia while Lando took a seat next to Han.
"Before I start," Luke began. "I have one question."
"Which is?" General Madine asked sharply and Luke could clearly feel the hostility radiating from him.
"I would like to know who the admiral is," Luke stated, meeting the General's gaze.
"He is Admiral Ackbar," Leia informed him. "He joined us shortly after you left on your mission."
"Exactly," Admiral Ackbar confirmed.
"Okay," Luke replied as he returned his gaze to the admiral.
"Now if you'll tell us what happened," Mon Mothma said with a slight edge to her voice.
"Certainly," Luke replied suppressing his anger. "We had just landed and were making our way towards the Imperial outpost when we were attacked from behind."
"By Imperials?" General Rieekan asked.
"No," Luke replied. At least he wasn't lying yet. "It was some sort of creature."
"What kind of creature?" Mon Mothma demanded.
"A horangi," Luke replied and heard Lando gasp in horror.
"How did you survive that?" he questioned.
"What's a horangi?" Admiral Ackbar asked.
"One question at a time," Luke said, holding up his hands. "A horangi is a large predator that has six arms, claws, and long fangs."
"And the claws are filled with a paralyzing poison," Lando said as Luke stopped to take a breath.
"I'm getting to that!" Luke snapped impatiently.
"Commander Skywalker!" Mon Mothma said sharply. "General Calrissian, let him finish."
Luke clicked his tongue in annoyance.
"Commander Skywalker, please continue," General Rieekan said.
"Well it came from behind and managed to take out our rear guards before they had a chance to warn us," Luke said. "We were completely caught off guard. And, as Lando said, the horangi has poison in it's claws, so the moment the claws puncture the skin its poison totally paralyzes its victim."
There was a moment of silence as everyone thought of what must have happened.
"What happened next?" Wedge finally asked.
"I'm not sure," Luke replied honestly. "I was reaching for my lightsaber when the horangi lashed out at me with one of its arms and clawed me."
"Where?" General Madine asked instantly.
"Right here," Luke responded as he rolled up his right sleeve to show the skeptic general his twin scars.
"Oh, Luke," Leia said as he touched his arm.
"How did you survive the confrontation if you were paralyzed?" Han asked.
"Yes," Admiral Ackbar stated. "And how come none of the others survived?"
"Well, as I said, I was paralyzed," Luke said as he sighed mentally. From here on in he'd have to lie. "So I don't know for sure. I can only tell you what I've been told."
"Who told you what you're going to tell us?" Leia asked.
"A space pirate by the name of Jason Tyren," Luke lied. "He happened to be nearby and he heard our startled screams, so he came to see what had happened. When he arrived on the scene he found me lying against a rock."
"What about the others?" Mon Mothma inquired.
Luke turned to face the Alliance leader and was quiet for a moment.
"The horangi eats meat," he finally stated quietly.
There was an uncomfortable silence for a few moments as everyone thought about this. Shifting in his chair, Luke quickly reached out and probed the Force auras of everyone in the room. He was relieved to see that they all more or less believed what he had said so far.
"What happened after you awoke?" General Madine finally demanded. "Why didn't you come back then?"
"One of the aftereffects of the horangi's poison is blindness," Luke replied. "Another is temporary amnesia."
"Amnesia?!" Leia exclaimed, horrified.
"Yes," Luke replied as Leia took hold of his right hand. "For ten weeks I had no idea who I was or what my life had been like. Once I regained my memory I went to Lantooine and waited until Lieutenant Santiago Klyn contacted me and brought me here."
"You said another of the aftereffects was blindness," Leia said. "How come you aren't blind?"
"The blindness can be cured with the right medication and Jason gave me that medication," Luke explained.
"Why?" Wedge asked. "Why would he give you the medicine?"
"Once he realized that I had no idea who I was and didn't have a place to go he offered to let me stay with him," Luke lied, avoiding eye contact with everyone. "And in return I worked for him, helping him smuggle goods past the Imps."
"Is that where you got those clothes?" Mon Mothma asked eyeing him.
"Yes," Luke lied as Han stiffened at the comment.
"Commander Antilles, could you show Commander Skywalker to his room while we discuss this matter?" Mon Mothma asked after a moment of silence.
"Right away, ma'am," Wedge replied as he got to his feet.
Luke probed everyone once more before he got up and left the room with Wedge.
"So, how's the squadron?" Luke asked as Wedge lead him through the maze of halls that made up the base.
"Not too good," Wedge replied sadly. "At least not the people you mean."
"What?"
"Well we lost Silyrn, Kylost, Mgrozon, Dacklyn, and Jowalski during the Imperial attack on the base at Walp," Wedge explained.
"What?!" Luke exclaimed, coming to a sudden stop as the faces of his dead squadron members flashed across his mind along with a tidal wave of guilt.
Five of his squadron members, his friends, who had flown under his command, who had joked and laughed with him, were dead, and it was all his fault! He had gotten the location of the base from the Rebels captured by the Empire, and he had helped his father make the plans to attack the base. Luke felt the world spin as he thought of how much fun he'd had while doing things that had lead to his friend's deaths.
"Luke?" Wedge asked as he grasped Luke's arms, thus preventing him from ending up on the floor. "Are you all right?"
"Huh?" Luke asked, snapping back to the present.
"Are you all right?" Wedge repeated as he looked into his friend's eyes. "Do you want to see 2-1B?"
"No," Luke replied, shaking his head as he gently shook Wedge's hands from his arms. "It was just the shock, along with the lack of sleep and the nervousness of the past few days."
"Are you sure?" Wedge inquired, clearly unconvinced.
"Of course I'm sure!" Luke snapped.
"Just checking," Wedge said taking a step back. "I wanted to be sure."
"I'm sorry, Wedge," Luke apologized, bringing a hand to his forehead. "I just haven't been quite myself lately."
Wedge looked at him for another moment before a small smile appeared on his face.
"Hey," he said. "No need to be sorry. You've been through a lot and just need a little time to relax."
Luke just nodded his head in agreement as he returned Wedge's smile.
"Yeah, probably," he lied.
He knew that relaxing wouldn't solve anything. He'd have to work to turn back into the boy everyone was expecting, the boy everyone knew. But could he be that boy again? Could he just rid himself of all the habits he had learned while with his father, like a snake shed its unwanted skin? Could he just forget the love he had felt for his father and the love he had felt from him?
Shaking his head he turned and followed Wedge down the hall as he gave another mental sigh. He had so many questions but practically no answers. He needed someone to talk to, someone, but who? Wedge? Glancing at his friend walking slightly ahead of him he dismissed the thought. Wedge might be a close friend, but what would he understand of his problem? Nothing. Wedge hated the Empire as they had killed his family and friends. Luke could never explain his feelings for his father, for Vader, to him.
Leia? No, she hated Vader as much, if not more, than Wedge did.
Han? Well, Han didn't hate Vader that much, although after what Vader had done to Leia and after his carbon freeze experience that was doubtful and not worth the risk. Besides, Han didn't believe in the Force, so he wouldn't understand the Dark Side. And even if he did, did he want to speak to a space pirate about his problems? Quickly, violently, he shoved that thought aside. Han was his friend and no higher or lower than he himself was.
Lando? No, he hardly knew the man. Besides hadn't he sold Han and Leia out? There was no telling what he might do if he learned Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith, was Commander Luke Skywalker's father.
Yoda? Well...maybe he could talk with Yoda. Wait, what was he thinking? Hadn't Yoda lied to him just as Ben had? Hadn't Yoda just cast him totally blind and unprepared before his father? Hadn't Yoda wanted him to kill his own father?! No, he couldn't talk with Yoda, but that left no one.
'No one but your father,' that small seductive voice inside him whispered. 'He'd sit down with you and answer any and all questions you have.'
Quickly he blocked the voice from his mind, even though he knew that what it said was true. His father would sit down with him and explain everything to him. He would listen to what Luke had to say and he'd give advice, perhaps not the kind of advice he'd like, but still the fact remained that his father would do it. His father understood him as none of his friends did.
"Well, here we are," Wedge said as he stopped before a door in the hallway they were in.
Stepping forward, Luke placed his left hand on the scanner and stepped into the room when the door opened. Looking around the room he felt his heart sink. The room was small with a closet, a chair, and a bunk. But then, what had he expected? A two room suite with a huge bed, a computer terminal, a water shower, tables, chairs, and a huge closet? Actually, now that he thought about it, that was exactly what he had been expecting. The Alliance didn't have enough money to waste it on unnecessary luxuries, but still he wanted them.
"--lucky," Wedge finished.
"Excuse me?" Luke asked as he blinked and turned to face his friend.
"I said that you're lucky to get a separate room. We don't have too much space," Wedge repeated, a concerned look on his face.
"Oh," Luke replied absently as he turned around and sat down on the hard bunk.
"Do you want to go to sleep?" Wedge inquired, trying but failing to hide his concern. "I mean, I can tell Mon Mothma that you weren't feeling too well and decided to rest."
Luke thought about this for a moment. He really didn't feel like going back to the conference room and making up answers to any questions his friends and the Alliance high command had come up with.
"Please," Luke said as he lay back on the uncomfortable bunk.
"My pleasure," Wedge stated as he exited the room.
"And Wedge," Luke called out before the door closed behind his friend.
"Yes?" Wedge asked as he popped his head back into the room.
"Thank you."
"No problem Luke," Wedge stated. "Now sleep."
With this Wedge disappeared and the door closed, leaving Luke alone in his small room. After a few minutes he got up and paced the room, counting the footsteps between the walls.
"Eleven by twelve," he said to himself. "Not bad, only six times smaller then my room at home."
As soon as he realized what he had said he froze and felt ice flow through his veins. Home, he had done it again! Undressing, he quickly got into the bunk and tried to sleep, wishing that this was all some kind of bad dream that he could just wake up from.
***
Two weeks later,
Luke sat in the cafeteria, eating his dinner, and thinking. The day after he had returned Mon Mothma had insisted that he take a medical scan before he returned to his regular duties. He knew that Wedge must have expressed concern about his health, but he hadn't said anything. Although he had gotten a perfect score on the medical scan, Leia had insisted that he take a few days off.
'Just to get back into the swing of things,' she had said, but to Luke it had seemed like just another hint that he should return to his father.
However, he had stayed and things had gotten slightly better since then, but only slightly. He had managed to keep snapping at people to a minimum, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't control his Dark emotions or thoughts, nor had he felt any real joy or happiness.
"Hey kid," Han said as he placed his tray on the table and sat opposite him. "I thought you didn't like vangitongue."
"What?" Luke asked before he put another piece of meat into his mouth.
"I thought you didn't like vangitongue," Han repeated, pointing to Luke's plate.
Confused, Luke looked at his plate and his eyes opened wide in horror. Han was right. He was eating vangitongue and he hadn't even noticed it! He'd detested vangitongue from the moment Han had first introduced him to it and now here he was, eating vangitongue and not even realizing it! Forcing the mouthful of disgusting tasting meat down his throat he looked up at his friend and smiled.
"What can I say? I learned to eat it while with Jason," Luke lied, again.
That was the excuse he used each and every time he did something he would never have done before his run-in with the horangi. Jason taught me this. Jason showed me that. Jason. Jason. Jason. When he had recognized a new Imperial weapon it was because Jason had smuggled it. When he had known something about Vader he shouldn't have it was because Jason had told him about it.
"Sounds like this Jason was quite a fellow," Han joked. "He managed to do the impossible. I mean you swore you'd never eat vangitongue again."
"Yeah," Luke stated as he stuffed another piece of the tongue into his mouth and forced himself to swallow it. "He was quite a fellow."
"I'd like to meet him some day," Han continued as he began to eat his own vangitongue. "If for nothing else, then to thank him for taking care of you."
"As if I didn't already thank him," Luke snapped, bristling.
"Hey, I didn't mean anything like that," Han replied. "You're like a little brother to me, Luke. I can't help but feeling kind of protective of you."
"Oh," Luke replied, lowering his eyes to his plate.
There he went again, snapping at his friends when all they had in mind were good intentions. And he thought he was getting better about restraining himself! A sudden growl pulled him out of his thoughts as Chewie sat down next to Han, barely acknowledging him. He didn't blame the Wookiee. He had often snapped at Chewie when they were alone together. He had always tried to apologize, but it had happened so often that Chewie knew that there was something more behind it than the excuses he had used.
"What?" Han asked and listened as Chewie barked a reply before he got up. "I'll be there as soon as I finish my dinner," Han stated before Chewie turned around and left the cafeteria.
"What is it?" Luke inquired, pushing the remaining vangitongue around his plate.
"Chewie says he's having trouble with the hyperdrive," Han replied as he studied his young friend.
"You mean he's having more trouble with the hyperdrive," Luke teased, uncomfortable with the look Han was giving him.
Han seemed to be judging him, his attitude, his personality, his behavior, and anything that he could judge. Luke quickly decided that he didn't like being judged. It make him feel like a slave or an animal.
"What's going on?" Han finally asked.
"What do you mean?" Luke asked nervously as he ate another piece of the vangitongue.
"What's going on between you and Chewie?" Han demanded, then held up his hand to stop Luke before he could reply. "And don't tell me there's nothing going on because that's what Chewie said. I'm not dumb and I can clearly see the tension between the two of you. Not to mention the fact that you two have practically ignored each other for the past few days. At first I thought that you'd had an argument, but then I remembered that you don't understand a word of Wookiee!"
"So?" Luke snapped, irritated.
"So I want to know what's going on," Han replied, seemingly undisturbed by Luke's tone of voice. "You're both my friends and I don't like to see you fight or ignore each other's existence."
"Whatever happens between Chewie and me is between Chewie and me!" Luke declared angrily as he got to his feet. "And it's none of your business, so stay out of it and quit nosing in on what I do!"
With that he picked up his tray and stormed out of the cafeteria, throwing his tray in the trash as he passed it, and leaving an astonished and hurt Han behind.
"What happened?" Leia asked as she approached Han, Wedge at her side.
"I don't know," Han replied as Leia and Wedge sat down. "One minute I'm asking him what's going on between him and Chewie--"
"Something's wrong between Luke and Chewie?" Wedge interrupted.
"Yes," Han stated. "There's a tension between them and they hardly acknowledge each other's existence anymore."
"Yes," Leia agreed. "I've noticed it too. Did he tell you why?"
"No. The moment I asked he got angry, said it was none of my business, and you know the rest," Han replied. "There's something different about him. He's changed somehow."
"Amnesia will do that to you," Wedge stated.
"No, it's not that," Leia disagreed. "I've noticed it too. Luke gets angrier much faster and often he has this look on his face that clearly states that while he's physically in the room his mind is elsewhere."
"Well," Wedge said. "I've heard of people who just totally changed after they'd had amnesia. Or it could just be that he doesn't feel like himself anymore, just the way you temporarily felt like a different person, Han."
"True," Han replied as he thought of how lost he'd felt after Leia had freed him from the carbonite. "But I didn't start yelling at people."
"Yes, but you didn't spend two and a half months not knowing who you were," Wedge replied.
"Still," Han replied. "There's something wrong with Luke. He's been acting extremely strange. One minute he's talking with you and the next minute it seems like he's somewhere else or he's snapping at you."
"Now that I've noticed," Wedge agreed. "And talking about things being wrong, he's been doing really bad on the simulator. It's almost like he hesitates before firing on a TIE fighter."
"What?!" Leia exclaimed.
"He seems to hesitate before firing and that generally gets him killed," Wedge repeated, his voice full of concern. "I fear the day when we have to do an actual battle."
"I say we go and talk to Luke," Han suggested. "Find out what's wrong. Something must have happened to him other then the horangi attack and the amnesia."
"No," Leia replied instantly. "If he wants to talk to us, he will. Look at what just happened when you confronted him. He might just need more time to readjust."
"I don't think it's that," Han insisted. "I'm going to talk with him later."
"Han--" Leia began.
"No," Han interrupted. "Something is wrong with him and I want to help."
Seeing that he had made up his mind Leia sighed and looked at Wedge who just shrugged at her.
"Just don't push him," Leia warned.
***
Walking down the hall towards the simulator room, Luke suppressed the urge to pound his fist against the wall. Why did Han have to stick his nose into other people's business? Chewie had come to realize that he didn't want to be touched by him, even if it was just a friendly hug, and he had stopped doing it. True, he had hurt Chewie's feelings, he had felt that, but at least he didn't have to lie every time he instinctively pulled away or snapped at him. But Han! The pirate didn't know when to back off!
Entering the simulator room he saw Tyson getting into one of the simulators.
"Hey, Tyson," he called out. "Do you want to go up against each other?"
"Commander," Tyson replied as he looked at Luke. "Sure, I'll be the TIE."
Nodding, Luke walked over to one of the other simulators and climbed in. As he sat down he quickly opened a connection to Tyson's simulator so that they could practice against each other. Taking hold of the controls, he waited until the blank screen before him changed into a space scene. Smiling to himself he turned his X-wing so that he was facing the direction Tyson would be coming from. As he looked at the TIE he saw that Tyson had programmed his simulator to give him the latest model TIE, namely one with shields, weak shields, but shields nonetheless.
Suddenly the TIE pulled into a spiral turn for no apparent reason. Instinctively Luke reached out with the Force and entered Tyson's mind to see what he was planning to do. Not entirely fair, he knew, but if it kept him alive in an actual battle then he wouldn't hesitate to do it, so why not do it in a fake battle?
As soon as he saw what Tyson had in mind his anger shot up. The former Imperial had come up with a new maneuver that he was sure would work and later, after he had defeated Luke, he would brag about how swiftly he had defeated Commander Skywalker. As the rage boiled up inside of him, Luke reached out and turned the X-wing so that Tyson couldn't pull the stunt he wanted to. Then, for the first time since he had gotten back, he didn't suppress his anger. Instead he let it guide his fingers across the controls and, seconds later, Tyson's ship disappeared in a ball of flame.
"Ha!" Luke exclaimed just before the full impact of what he had done hit home.
He had used the Dark Side! Forcing himself to calm down he pushed the Dark Side away just as the screen before him turned blank and his score appeared. He just looked at the score in astonishment. That was his best ever. Heck, it was the best score anyone had had in the Alliance so far! Could it be true? Could the Dark Side be stronger? Shoving that thought aside, he quickly got out of the simulator only to find Tyson, Wedge, and Han waiting for him.
"Commander Skywalker, you broke Alka's record!" Tyson exclaimed.
"What?!" Wedge asked, instantly interested.
"He wiped me out in seconds!" Tyson explained. "I didn't even have time to try to fire. He just moved too fast!"
"What?" Han asked turning to his young friend. "Luke?"
Luke just shrugged as he probed Han and Wedge with the Force, pushing away the anger that had risen at seeing Han again. But even after he had pushed it aside he could still feel the Dark Side nibbling at the edges of his soul, waiting for him to summon it so that it could once again fill him with its bleak unclean energies. Was that what his father wanted for him? Yet hadn't he enjoyed it just moments earlier?
Knowing that he was treading on dangerous ground, especially with what had just happened, he turned his attention back to probing his friends. As he did so he read the conversation Han, Leia, and Wedge had had about him and Han's determination to speak with him and make everything right. He suppressed the urge to laugh at Han's naivete. According to his pirate friend everything could be healed with words. How could his longing be healed with words? How would he make it clear to Han that he couldn't help? It was better to make his friend think everything was okay.
"So what's your secret, Luke?" Wedge asked with a smile.
"Secret?" Luke asked as a sudden wave of panic washed over him.
"Yeah," Wedge replied. "I mean, Tyson learned to fly in a TIE fighter and he's a damn good pilot, and yet you just wiped him out like he was a first timer."
'And you've been doing really bad lately,' Luke picked up from Tyson's mind.
Giving a small smile he shrugged.
"There's no secret," he lied. "I guess I've just readjusted from my absence."
There! He caught the quick, slightly surprised, glance Han and Wedge sent each other. He had purposely used those words as he had seen that that was what Leia had used to explain his behavior. He smiled inwardly. Leia was so quick to believe in the good of her friends, exactly the way he had once believed in the essential good of everyone. But not anymore, no. He had seen the Dark, seen what others were capable of, seen how much Darker Palpatine was then anyone thought. He'd seen how Dark his father was, and he'd even seen how Dark he could be, had seen how much evil he himself could commit.
"That's great, Luke," Wedge replied. "I didn't want to say anything earlier, but your simulator results were your worst ever."
"I was distracted," Luke replied honestly.
"Well, welcome back," Wedge joked before he and Tyson left.
"So...?" Luke began, looking at Han.
"Well," Han replied, looking for a good place to start. "To be honest, I'm worried about you."
"Worried about me?" Luke asked innocently as he began to walk out of the simulator room.
"Yes," Han replied trying to keep his frustration under control.
Why was Luke doing this? There was clearly something wrong with the kid and yet he was avoiding every confrontation. If only he would talk about it, then he could help the kid solve his problem. Kid...ever since Luke had returned from his amnesia he seemed different, older. He was no longer the innocent, naive kid he had met on Tatooine.
"You've been acting...well different," Han said choosing his words carefully.
"What do you mean?" Luke asked looking forward.
Hopefully, Han didn't press the matter too much, for if he did, he'd have to use the Force to persuade Han that he was fine. He had no intention of telling Han about what had actually happened or how he felt about it all, how he felt about Vader.
Suppressing the urge to grab Luke by the collar and look him straight in the eyes, Han stopped midway in the hallway, forcing Luke to stop as well. It was the closest he could come to looking in Luke's eyes. For if he did anything else, Luke would totally close himself off from him, as he had done earlier.
"What do I mean?" Han repeated. "Your simulator results for one--"
"I already said I was distracted," Luke interrupted.
"--you've been acting distant--" Han continued.
"Same reason," Luke stated.
"--and you have gained quite a temper," Han finished taking a step towards Luke and looking him straight in the eyes.
As he did so he saw a flash of nervousness before it disappeared and a strange emptiness filled Luke's ice-blue eyes.
There was a short silence during which Luke was tempted to hide behind his anger, as he had done earlier. Yet he knew that if he were to convince Han he would have to make it seem like his behavior was a result of confusion, which in turn was a result of his amnesia experience.
"Well?" Han asked as he looked away from Luke.
The look in the young man's eyes was unnerving. He could detect absolutely nothing in the empty stare. Besides, there seemed to be an authority in the stare, something that commanded him to look away. But that was ridiculous. This was Luke. Luke didn't care about power. Hell, he had been extremely nervous and uncomfortable with the prospect of being a Commander of a small squadron!
"Han," Luke began, pulling Han out of his thoughts.
"Yes?" Han replied, looking back at Luke, thinking his friend would finally open up to him.
"Han, I've been feeling really confused and out of place since I got back," Luke stated.
And it was true, it just wasn't the full truth. If he played this right he'd be able to convince Han that it was similar to what he had experienced after being freed from the carbonite.
"I didn't know what to do. I felt like I wasn't myself, like I had lost something as a result of the amnesia," Luke lied and caught the glimpse of understanding and compassion in Han's eyes. "So instead of confronting those feelings, I hid from them and hid from everyone else behind my anger. I felt vulnerable, Han."
As he said this last he added a small undertone of pain to his voice and used the Force to persuade his friend that he was telling the truth. He had only used a little Force persuasion and yet he felt all of Han's suspicions fade and then he felt compassion replace them.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Han asked, being careful not to show too much of the compassion he felt as he knew Luke didn't want to be pitied.
"I was still in the habits I had learned while with Jason," Luke lied with a small smile. "Showing emotion is showing weakness."
Han winced as he thought of that rule which had been a major part of his life until he had joined the Alliance. And, although he had lived with it for most of his life, he really hated the thought of Luke living that way. It just wasn't in Luke's nature. Luke was kind and gentle, but all that seemed to have disappeared. No wonder he had acted differently!
"Okay," Han finally stated. "But promise me that the next time you need help you'll talk to me, okay?"
"Hey, Han," Luke replied, placing his hand on his friend's arm. "I've lost the habit."
"So you'll talk with me?" Han pressed, looking back into Luke's eyes, pleased to see the light back in them.
"Why wouldn't I?" Luke questioned, giving Han another nudge with the Force.
Han gave Luke a smile, sure that his friend was back to normal.
"Okay," he stated. "I've got to go help Chewie now. See you later, Luke."
"Bye, Han," Luke replied as he turned around and started to wander aimlessly around the base.
Things were really starting to go bad. He had just needed to use the Force on Han twice! He had never done that before on his friends. Heck, he had never even thought of doing it!
Exiting the building he walked over to the wooded area at the edge of the landing pad and leaned against a tree, closing his eyes. Things had not gone well today. First he had had an argument with Han, then he had not only let the Dark Side fill him, but he had used it as well, and then he had used the Force on Han. Briefly he wondered if that last had been an act of Light or Dark. Not wanting to know, he quickly pushed the thought aside, opened his eyes, and, despite all the warnings he had heard, walked further into the woods until he could neither hear nor see the base anymore.
Once he was sure that he was alone, he sat down in a clearing and leaned against the blue-brown bark of a tree trunk. Looking up at the darkening sky through the red-green leaves he sighed. It was so peaceful out here. He could sense the calm of his surroundings, the peace that hung over the place like a warm soft blanket. Once, he had been able to let that peace and calm flow through him, to make himself a part of it, but not anymore. Now he could only sense its presence without actually feeling it. His own inner turmoil prevented him from becoming one with his surroundings as he had been taught.
But what did he want? Did he want to be a part of the peace and calm that was the Light Side, or did he want the power that was the Dark Side? Did he want his friends or his father? There were things that were pulling him in both directions.
He wasn't sure why, but at first he hadn't sensed the change in the air around him. Perhaps it was because he had been too lost in his thoughts to notice it, or perhaps it was just because he wasn't able to completely open himself to the Light Side anymore. Whatever the reason, he had definitely missed the slow change in the aura of the environment until it was almost too late.
There was a sense of foreboding in the air, an aura of power that was radiating from somewhere in the surrounding area. As he concentrated on it he noticed that all the birds and animals in the area had stopped making sounds, leaving the twilight forest silent. As he slowly, silently, rose to his feet he knew that the smartest thing for him to do was get out of here as fast as possible, to go back to the base. But another part of him wanted to stay, wanted to see the creature whose aura of power he was feeling, the creature that all the others in the area feared to the extent that they tried to hide themselves and stopped making their usual chatter.
As he stood there, waiting, his hand slid down to his belt, to where his lightsaber was. He reached out with the Force and searched the surrounding area for the creature. He finally pinpointed it as being to his right and just out of his sight. He turned in the direction of the creature and waited, watching the light in the forest dim. Then, suddenly, he could make out two gleaming circles of golden-brown a little above one of the branches of the tree he had been sitting against earlier. Smiling to himself, he stared at the eyes of the creature, daring it to come out of hiding.
There was no sound in the forest as Luke and the creature stared at each other for so long that Luke lost track of time. Then, suddenly, a loud snarl echoed through the forest moments before the creature leaped forward, straight at Luke.
Sensing the attack before it came, he jumped aside, as he pulled out and activated his emerald-green lightsaber. The creature sailed past him and landed in the middle of the clearing. Studying the animal, Luke saw the powerful muscles in both it's front and hind legs as it stood frozen in place, it's black and orange striped tail swinging from side to side. The creature's piercing golden-brown eyes were drilling into him, studying him, judging him.
Looking at the creature, a tiger he believed it was called, he couldn't help but admire it's commanding presence, it's muscular body, it's graceful movements, and it's beautiful coat. After several minutes the tiger looked away and then, as quickly as it had appeared, it jumped away into one of the nearby trees. Waiting until the tiger was far away Luke finally turned off his lightsaber and headed back to the base, thankful for the long twilight.
As he walked back to the base he thought about how the tiger reminded him of his father in several ways. There was the same commanding presence, the powerful, muscular body, the graceful movements, and the cold stark beauty they both possessed in their own way. He stopped as he came across a patch of dark purple wild dewberries. Tasting one of them he smiled. It was sweet, just the way he liked them. Picking a handful of the biggest, most plump, berries he continued on his way back as the last light of the sun disappeared and was replaced by the dim glow of the millions of stars that littered the dark sky.
He finished the last berry just as he reached the end of the forest and the beginning of the landing pad. As he walked onto the landing pad a pilot working on his Y-wing not far away looked up in surprise. He couldn't blame the pilot. Everyone had been advised not to go out into the forest as there were many large predators, and yet, despite the warnings, he had gone out. And not only that but, to anyone who didn't recognize a lightsaber, it seemed like he had gone out unarmed.
"Good evening," Luke said as he nodded his head at the pilot.
"Good evening, sir," the pilot replied seeing his rank.
Then the pilot quickly turned around and went back to work. Luke stopped and hesitated for a moment but then, not wanting Han and Leia to find out that he had gone into the forest alone, he reached out with the Force and promptly erased the memory from the pilots mind. He then turned around and headed inside and back to his small room.
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