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Several days later,
Luke hurried through the halls of the base on his way to the conference room as he mentally cursed Joranus, a member of his squadron. He had been on patrol above the base with Joranus, Tyson, and Liza when Joranus had gotten into trouble. It hadn't been anything too serious, but it had been time consuming and now, as a result, he was going to be late to an important meeting. He wasn't sure what the meeting was about, but Leia had stressed that it was very important. And he had gotten curious. After all, he was only a commander in the Alliance. In the Empire he was more, and so he was surprised that he'd been ordered to attend a political meeting. And now he was late!
Approaching the door to the conference room he slowed down and quickly scanned the room with the Force. Two steps away from the door he froze in his tracks as he realized that three of the people in the room were Hammerheads. It wasn't really guilt that stopped him, because despite his hardest efforts the guilt for what he had done had vanished completely, but his surprise stopped him.
He knew beforehand that there would be several aliens at the meeting as two of the other high ranking commanders on the base at the moment were aliens as well as Admiral Ackbar, but he knew none of them was a Hammerhead. Quickly recovering from the surprise, he stepped forward and entered the room as the door slid open. Glancing around he saw the three Hammerheads sitting in between General Madine and Commander Gropo, a Rodian.
"Commander Skywalker," General Madine said looking at him. "Finally."
"I'm sorry I'm late," Luke replied, eyes flashing in annoyance to the general. "We had some problems while on patrol."
"Anything serious?" Mon Mothma instantly asked.
"No, ma'am," Luke replied. "Just time-consuming."
"Very well," Mon Mothma stated, pleased. "Take a seat, Commander. As I said before you entered, Ambassadors Linska, Georga, and Urau here are--"
"Hammerheads, I know," Luke replied as he took the free seat in between Leia and Wedge.
He was so annoyed that Mon Mothma was just repeating info for him, info which didn't really matter and which he already knew, and making him feel guilty for something that hadn't been his fault that at first he didn't notice the nervous and uncomfortable silence that had fallen over the room. When he did notice it, he also realized that everyone was looking at him and that there was both anger and hate radiating from the three Hammerhead ambassadors, anger and hate clearly aimed at him.
What...? And then suddenly it hit him. He had called the ambassadors Hammerheads instead of Ithorians and, judging from the reaction of the Ithorian Rebel he had ordered to be killed on Coruscant, that was some kind of Imperial insult or nickname for the species. Although he had to admit to himself that they did look like Hammerheads with their flat, hammer-shaped heads.
"What?" he asked looking around at the other people in the room, knowing that he'd better make this look like he had no idea of what he had just said or else he'd be in deep trouble. "What did I do?"
"You mean you don't know?" Leia asked, a relieved expression appearing on her face.
"Know what?" Luke repeated, using the Force to mold his voice.
"Hammerhead is a racial nickname used by the Empire when referring to Ithorians," General Rieekan replied calmly, believing that Luke had no idea of what he had just said.
In response to the explanation, Luke let his face quickly shift through looks of confusion, horror, and finally regret as he turned to face the ambassadors.
"Where did you hear that term, Commander?" Admiral Ackbar demanded before Luke could speak.
Looking at the boy across the table from him, Ackbar wondered what he was like. Ever since Luke's return from the dead he had heard many stories of what the boy had done for the Alliance and what he was like. And, although he hadn't known the Commander before, he couldn't help but notice how different his behavior was from what people had told him.
"Jason Tyren used the term when talking about Ithorians," Luke lied smoothly. It was practically second nature to him by now. "And I picked it up, not knowing it was offensive."
Silently shaking her head Leia sighed mentally. Jason again. How often had she heard that name in the past few weeks? The pirate certainly seemed to have greatly influenced Luke. He seemed to be the one from whom Luke had picked up a lot, both good and bad. But there was something about this Jason. She wasn't quite sure what, but something about him bothered her. He seemed to be unreal somehow. But that was ridiculous. Luke wouldn't lie to them, would he? This was getting crazy. Sure, Luke acted differently since he had gotten back, but that didn't give her any right to mistrust him, did it? Shoving the disloyal thoughts aside, she turned her attention back to the things at hand.
"I'm terribly sorry for any offense I may have caused you," Luke was saying. "I had absolutely no idea that the term I used was offensive."
The lead ambassador just nodded her head and then turned her attention back to Mon Mothma.
"As I was saying," Mon Mothma began. "The ambassadors are from Ithor and are here to see whether they want to openly join the Alliance or not."
Luke cringed slightly as he heard this. They were here to consider joining the Alliance and he had just called them an Imperial insult, not a good way for them to start seeing what the Alliance was like. Obviously General Madine thought so too as he constantly shot disapproving looks full of hatred in his direction. He purposefully avoided the general's gaze and sat quietly in his chair, listening to the conversation and hoping that the three Ithorians ambassadors would forget him and his comment.
But as time dragged by it became clear to him that they weren't just going to forget what had happened as one of them shot a look at him every ten minutes or so. From the looks on their faces and eyes it seemed like they weren't all that offended, but probing them with the Force showed a great anger and dislike for him. All he could do was sit there as Mon Mothma, General Madine, General Rieekan, Admiral Ackbar, Leia, and the others explained the Alliance, how it worked, and why they should join and hope that what he had said wouldn't make them not join the Alliance.
He had also hoped that he would be able to remain quiet for the rest of the conference, but as he should have known, that didn't happen.
"We have heard the Imperial side of the story of how and why the Imperial Death Star was destroyed," Ambassador Linska said. "Now we'd like to know your side of the story."
Feeling Leia stiffen at the reminder of how her homeworld had been destroyed, Luke silently shifted so that he could squeeze her hand. Leia looked at him and flashed a quick smile.
"Well," Mon Mothma began as she looked at Leia. "We destroyed the Death Star for two main reasons, the first being that it was going to destroy our base on Yavin IV, and the second was so that the Empire couldn't use it for any more sadistic power demonstrations like they did with Alderaan."
"How do you know Alderaan was just a power demonstration?" Ambassador Linska questioned.
"Princess Organa was there when the order for Alderaan's destruction was given," General Rieekan stated quietly.
"I'm sorry, Princess," Ambassador Linska apologized.
There was a short silence during which Luke shifted uncomfortably.
"How was the Death Star destroyed?" Ambassador Urau finally asked.
"Well we had the blue prints of the Death Star and, after a quick study of them, we found a weakness in the Death Star's design," General Madine explained. "There was a two meter thermal exhaust port in the trench leading to the reactor room. After we discovered this we sent several squads of snub fighters towards the approaching Death Star--"
"Snub fighters?" Ambassador Georga interrupted.
"Yes," Mon Mothma replied. "We knew it was dangerous and that the odds of failure were high, but it was all we could do."
"And," General Rieekan said. "We were lucky. Commander Skywalker was able to fire two proton torpedoes into the exhaust port. He and Commander Antilles, sitting to his right, are the only two survivors of the Death Star run."
Luke felt the ambassadors' gazes on him as they studied him once again.
"And how did you manage to hit a two meter target with proton torpedoes, Commander?" Ambassador Urau asked.
"I used the Force," Luke replied simply, glad that for once he didn't have to lie.
Briefly he wondered whether he would have to explain the Force to the ambassadors, but when he felt no confusion from them he knew that they must have heard of the Force before.
"If we could have some time to discuss things among ourselves?" Ambassador Linska finally asked. "We need to weigh the odds and see if joining the Alliance is worth the risk of probably losing our bafforr forests."
"Definitely," Mon Mothma replied as she stood up. "If you will follow me, I'll show you to a room where you can take all the time you need."
"We'll only need half an hour," Ambassador Linska replied as she stood. "If we haven't decided soon, then we won't be able to come to an agreement any time."
Nodding her head silently, Mon Mothma led the way out of the conference room to another room down the hall. As soon as the door closed behind them Han turned to face Leia.
"Bafforr forests?" he asked, looking confused.
"Yes, what are they?" Luke asked as he too moved closer to Leia.
"Well they're a kind of semi-intelligent forests that exist only on Ithor," Leia explained.
"Semi-intelligent trees?" Han murmured under his breath. "What next? Walking and talking rocks?"
"Han!" Leia hissed as Luke hid a smile. "Don't you dare say a word like that before them! They consider their bafforr forests sacred and it's a sacrilege to touch the trees."
"So, what do these trees look like?" Luke quickly asked before Han could get off another remark.
"They have glassy, smooth trunks," Leia stated turning to face Luke. "People often describe the forests as being aquamarine and crystalline and the forest is said to have a glow."
At this Han made another remark and Leia turned back to face him, leaving Luke to his thoughts, leaving him to worry. How much damage had he caused with his remark? He knew that the Alliance needed all the support they could get. How could he even have called the Ithorians Hammerheads? Why hadn't it clicked inside his head that that was an offensive Imperial nickname? Because he had seen why they had gotten that name and he had agreed with it, had thought that it fit the species.
"Luke," Wedge said as he leaned towards his friend. "How did Leia react to the mention of Alderaan's destruction?"
"Pretty well," Luke replied. "I mean, she was upset, but she knows that it's over and done with and that she can't change the past now."
"Okay," Wedge replied just as the door opened and the three Ithorians ambassadors reentered the room.
With a surprised start Luke looked at the chronometer hanging on the wall and realized that he must have been lost in his thoughts for longer then he had thought as half an hour had past.
"Ambassadors," Mon Mothma stated as the Ithorians took their seats, making Luke wonder just when she had reentered the room. "Have you made a decision?"
"Yes," Ambassador Linska replied, looking at each person in the room.
Luke felt the hostility in the Ithorian's stare as she briefly looked at him.
"We have decided that, despite the fact that we agree with your cause, we shall not join the Alliance," Ambassador Urau stated.
Luke felt his heart sink. He could clearly feel the disappointment from everyone in the room save the three Ithorians. He could even feel that General Madine blamed him for the decision.
"Could we please know the reason for your decision?" Mon Mothma asked, completely disguising her disappointment.
"Certainly," Ambassador Georga responded. "First off, we are certain that the Empire will destroy our bafforr forests if we openly join the Alliance, and we simply don't see the Alliance worth that high of a sacrifice."
"I don't mean to be rude or anything," Han said. "But why did you even come here then? I mean, you must have known beforehand that joining the Alliance would mean the destruction of your forests."
"True," Ambassador Linska replied. "But we had thought that the Alliance might be worth that sacrifice. However, after seeing how the Alliance works, how things are done, and a few other reasons, we have decided that it isn't worth our sacrifice."
Luke flinched at the statement, knowing all to well that 'a few other reasons' meant his comment. And he couldn't blame them. Although he had apologized and although everyone had been surprised when he had made the remark, the Ithorians had no way of knowing that that hadn't all been an act. He had actually helped the Empire! Unintentionally, true, but the fact remained.
The rest of the meeting was a haze. If asked he wouldn't be able to say whether Mon Mothma and the others had tried to persuade the Ithorians to change their mind, or if they had talked about something else alltogether. All he could think of was the fact that he had helped the Empire, that he was miserable, and that he wanted to be with his father, to love him, to be loved by him, and to feel like he belonged.
When Mon Mothma, Admiral Ackbar, General Rieekan, Han, Lando, and Leia finally lead the three ambassadors out of the room he let out a small relieved sigh. His relief immediately vanished as he saw that General Madine had remained seated.
"Commander Skywalker," he said as the other commanders got to their feet. "Please stay here."
Knowing what was coming, the others quickly gathered their stuff and left the room. Wedge sent Luke a sympathetic glance before he too left. Looking over at the general, Luke struggled to control the rage boiling up inside of him, knowing that it wouldn't be long before the whole base knew about what had happened and of how he had been reprimanded by General Madine.
"Yes?" he asked, purposefully forgetting the proper title and keeping his voice toneless.
"Commander, you may be fooling the others, but you are not fooling me," General Madine stated coldly, all formality having disappeared.
"Excuse me?" Luke asked, struggling to keep down the wave of panic rising within him.
Had he given himself away? Had he said or done something that showed he had spent his amnesia time with the Empire instead of with a space pirate? Well, his Hammerhead remark had partially given him away, but he had recovered from that.
"I don't buy your story of having amnesia and about staying with some space pirate," General Madine stated.
"I have given you no reason to doubt me," Luke replied.
"No?" General Madine responded. "First, you disappeared for several months after the disastrous Battle of Hoth, then you claim to have faced Darth Vader and yet you survived the confrontation with only the loss of your right hand, not to mention the fact that you have this bizarre religion."
Unable to control his anger at the accusations, Luke felt his face harden and his eyes turn into twin points of ice-blue steel instead of the unemotional orbs he had started the meeting with. And, although the general didn't show it and would never admit it, Luke could feel a fear of him appear in the general's Force aura at the transformation.
"As I have said before, I was getting my Jedi training during my absence after the Battle of Hoth--" Luke began, his voice cold and hard, just like it had been on Coruscant during the interrogation of the Rebels.
"Says you," General Madine interrupted.
"--I did face Lord Vader," Luke continued, his eyes flashing in irritation. "And the Force isn't a religion."
"How did you survive Vader?" General Madine challenged.
"I have already given the Alliance a report," Luke nearly snapped. "I suggest you reread it if your memory is failing you and you can't remember it."
"Commander Skywalker, remember that you are speaking to a superior officer," General Madine stated leaning forward in his chair.
"Am I?" Luke questioned, rising to his feet in a show of defiance.
General Madine was about to reply when the door opened and Mon Mothma entered the room.
"What's going on in here?" she demanded, feeling the tension in the air.
There was an awkward silence during which Luke looked back to General Madine, knowing that since he was technically the higher ranking officer he'd have to explain things.
"I was just asking Commander Skywalker if he cared to change his report about what he did during his absence," General Madine finally stated.
"Why would he?" Mon Mothma asked, looking to Luke.
"My response exactly," Luke replied.
When General Madine didn't respond Mon Mothma nodded to Luke, dismissing him. Quickly he left and headed back to his own room, his thoughts in turmoil. Why did things have to turn out like this? Why hadn't he just been able to return and pick up where he had left off? Because he had changed, that was why. Why had his father done this to him? Why hadn't he just given him his memory back? He was sure it could be done with the Force, so why hadn't he? Because he had wanted to spend time with him, to love him, and to get to know him. What was he thinking? Did Vader want to get to know him or had it been to use him? But he had clearly felt his father's love for him, hadn't he?
Frustrated, he stormed into his room and ordered the door to lock behind him, making sure he wasn't going to be disturbed. Leaning against the wall, he closed his eyes, resisting the urge to take his anger out on the furniture in the room. Suddenly he began to tremble as he was unable to keep his frustration, unhappiness, and longing down anymore. Forcing tears back he sat down on the bunk, leaned against the wall, and pulled his knees to his chest, trying and failing to bury the feelings he had kept hidden ever since he had left his father. Finally he gave in, letting the feelings wash over him, knowing that it would lead to trouble, but unwilling to hide and run from his feelings any longer.
Finally, unable to stand it any more, he mentally called out for help before he could stop himself.
'Father,' he cried, wincing at the fact that he had actually called out, and at how broken his voice had sounded.
He was just about to close his mind, to put up his mental barriers so that his father couldn't talk with him, when he felt a sudden warmth filling him. He froze at the feeling, wondering where it had come from, before he realized that his father was sending it.
'Son,' Vader's voice spoke softly into his mind. 'Why do you choose to be unhappy?'
Twitching, Luke ignored the question as he pressed into the warmth, which he had now identified as he father's love for him, knowing that it would probably led to bad consequences. But what was the definition of bad anyway? At the moment he didn't care. All he cared about was knowing that he was being loved. As if in response, his father seemed to make a warm soft blanket out of his love and wrapped it around him. Luke sent his gratitude as he shifted to a more comfortable position on the hard bunk.
'Sleep,' his father commanded.
Yawning, Luke wondered if he should. It would mean less time with his father.
'I'll still be here when you awaken,' Vader softly reassured him. 'But now you must sleep.'
Nodding his head, Luke relaxed and let himself drift off into a deep slumber.
***
Luke slowly awoke to the sound of someone knocking on the door to his room.
"Luke?" came Han's voice. "Luke, are you in there?"
"Just a moment," Luke replied as he got off the bunk, stretched his limbs, and realized that he had forgotten to change his clothes last night. 'Father?' he asked mentally as he reached out with the Force and opened the door.
"Hey, Luke..." Han began but stopped short as he saw Luke standing next to his bunk. "How'd you open the door?"
'Son,' Vader responded sending his warmth through Luke once again.
"The Force," Luke replied simply, smiling as his father's love washed over him.
"I should have guessed," Han stated. "But your Force doesn't seem to be as all-powerful as you sometimes make it out to be."
"Huh?" Luke asked, feeling the anger rise in him at the comment.
"Well, the Force doesn't seem to have an alarm chronometer," Han explained, amused. "You missed breakfast."
"What?" Luke asked, looking over to the chronometer next to his bunk.
Seeing the time he realized that he had indeed missed breakfast.
"Perhaps the Force does have an alarm chronometer," he snapped at Han. "Perhaps I just felt like sleeping in."
"Hey," Han replied, holding up his hands as a hurt and confused expression flashed across his face. "I was just joking."
"Joking?" Luke demanded, feeling his father's approval. "The Force isn't a joke!"
"Hey, kid, calm down," Han said, astonished at the young man's sudden mood change. "Is there something wrong? Do you want to talk about it?"
"I'm not a kid, so stop calling me that!" Luke ordered, feeling his father's surprise and disapproval of the nickname. "And if there's anything wrong with me, then it's my business and not yours!"
"Of course it's my business," Han replied, feeling his frustration well up in him. "You're my friend. I'm worried about you."
What was wrong with Luke? He thought that they had worked things out the last time they had talked.
"Well, you shouldn't be," Luke replied angrily, using his anger to cover the confusion he was starting to feel inside of him. "Besides, what makes you think that I'd talk to you? What makes you think that you'd understand?
"Luke--" Han began.
"No, you listen to me!" Luke interrupted stepping closer to Han, his eyes ablaze. "There are things far beyond the mind and power of a space pirate, things you'll never understand!"
Stung by the words, Han stood speechless for a moment, anger, confusion, astonishment, and pain all fighting inside of him to be the dominate emotion. Seconds later the age-old emotion of anger won the conflict.
"You've sure come a long way from the idealistic boy I met on Tatooine," Han stated angrily. "You've come a long way from the wide-eyed farmboy...a long way down!"
As he finished he began to feel a twitch of doubt within himself, doubt and guilt. That had been a little harsh, but then hadn't what Luke had said been harsh as well? But did that give him the right to say what he had just said? Of course it didn't! How could he have said that to Luke? Sure, the kid had purposefully said things to hurt him, but then there was clearly something wrong with his young friend, despite the assurances he had given otherwise. Something that had happened during his amnesia that he hadn't told them about, something so terrible that he chose to avoid the subject, no matter the cost.
Looking at the young man, barely more then a boy really, he noticed the strange raging fire in his eyes that he had never seen there before and it frightened him. He opened his mouth to apologize when it suddenly felt like a durasteel wall slammed into him. The next thing Han knew he was literally flying out of Luke's room and right into a tech who had the bad luck of being in the hall. He lay in a daze on the floor, unsure what had just happened.
"Get off me!" a voice exclaimed.
Suddenly, he realized that he was laying on top of somebody. As he rolled off of the tech he also realized what had happened. Luke had used the Force on him!
"I'm sorry," he quickly muttered to the tech as he got to his feet.
The tech just nodded his head as he hastily continued on his way down the hall. Turning around, Han looked towards the door leading to Luke's room only to find it closed. Feeling the anger well up uncontrollably inside of him, he marched to the door and pounded his fist against it.
"Luke!" he called out. "Open up, open up right now!"
Silence. Luke obviously had no intention of speaking to him any further. He briefly considered ordering Luke to open the door, but he knew that if Luke did open the door on command that he'd act the way he did around General Rieekan, General Madine, and Mon Mothma and he didn't want that to happen. And that was if Luke opened the door at all and, considering the fact that he had just used the Force on him, that didn't seem likely.
Just thinking of what Luke had done made the rage swell in him until he stormed away from Luke's door, not caring if Luke needed help or not.
***
Feeling Han walk away Luke finally relaxed, still angry at Han's comments and his refusal to leave him. Why hadn't he just left him alone? Why couldn't Han just let him go about his own business?
'Luke?' Vader inquired.
Hearing his father's voice made the anger swell in him again. This was all his fault! If he had just showed him how to regain his memory when he had first awoken, he wouldn't be in this mess right now! Or if he had never lured him to Cloud City, then he would never have known that his father was alive at all. He would have continued his Jedi training without any doubts, and then his relationship with his friends wouldn't be like this!
'Is that what you truly want?' Vader asked, reading his son's thoughts.
'Leave me alone!' Luke cried out, feeling his fragile hold on certainty slip. 'Just leave me alone!'
'Very well,' Vader replied much to Luke's surprise. 'I shall leave you for now, but remember, I will always be here for you, my son, all you need do is call.'
With this Vader closed the link between them, causing Luke to shiver as the warmth vanished. Luke was instantly thrown back into confusion and dount as the warmth vanished. He longed for more of his father's warm presence, surprised at how his father had left him alone when he had asked, something no one else had done in the longest time. Everyone else had to help him, they pretended to know him, to think that they could heal any wounds he had like he was a small child.
But not his father. No, his father let him decide for himself what he wanted. He didn't intrude where he wasn't wanted, and he didn't pester him with questions. Just like last night. He had simply comforted him, sensing that he didn't want to talk and leaving it at that. His father understood his needs, his desires... What was he saying? His father, Lord Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith, second-in-command of the Galactic Empire was evil and Dark! Gritting his teeth and clenching his fists in frustration he stormed from his room like a raging black storm and headed for the landing pad, knowing that he had a shift soon.
***
"Han, what's wrong?" Leia asked as Han stormed into the room, his features contorted in anger. "What happened?"
Silently she was thankful that Mon Mothma had just left the room. Having been rejected by the Ithorians yesterday had left the Rebel leader in a sour mood, a mood in which she would probably have snapped at Han. And, seeing the mood Han was in, that would probably have caused a tremendous non-diplomatic argument.
"Luke's what happened, that's what!" Han growled. "That little brat used the Force on me!"
"What?!" Leia exclaimed, not knowing what to be more shocked at, Han calling Luke a brat, or Luke using the Force on Han.
"You heard me," Han snapped, turning to face Leia. "That...that ignorant whelp used the Force on me! He sent me flying out of his room, and I'm not using figurative language here!"
"Luke sent you flying out of his room?" Leia asked ignoring how Han was addressing her.
"Yes," Han replied a little more softly. He had no reason to be yelling at Leia. She had done nothing wrong.
"What happened?" Leia asked, concerned. If Luke had used the Force on Han then it was serious. "Why were you in his room?"
"Well you know how Luke and I generally have breakfast together, right?" Han asked.
"Yes."
"This morning he didn't show up. At first I wasn't worried. I mean, everyone sleeps in once in while," Han explained. "But then they stopped serving breakfast and I began to get worried, so I decided to go by his room and make sure everything was all right. When I reached his door, I knocked a couple of times before I got a reply, seconds before the door was opened, by the Force."
"Luke used the Force to open the door?" Leia asked as Han nodded in reply. "He generally doesn't use the Force for such trifle things."
"Exactly," Han agreed. "Anyway, I made a joke about the Force and the fact that he had slept in and suddenly he just became really defensive. He snapped at me, telling me the Force was no joke."
"Just like that?" Leia asked confused. "Are you sure nothing else happened?"
"I'm sure. That's why I was so surprised," Han stated. "I asked him if something was wrong and if he wanted to talk about it. He replied by saying it was his business and not mine. When I said I was concerned about him, he said there were things 'far beyond the understanding of a space pirate.'"
"HE WHAT?!" Leia exclaimed loudly. "No! I don't believe that. You must be mistaken. Luke would never say anything like that."
"You have no idea how hard I wish you were right, but that's what he said," Han replied sadly.
"What did you do next?" Leia asked, knowing Han's temper and pride.
"I replied with an equally insulting remark," Han stated avoiding her gaze.
"Han!" Leia sighed bringing her hands to her forehead. "What happened next?"
Looking at Leia, Han could feel the dread radiating from her.
"I was about to apologize when Luke slammed the Force into me and sent me flying into the hall right into a passing tech," Han replied, remembering his astonishment.
"I have to go talk with him," Leia stated as she started heading for the door.
"Leia, don't!" Han stated grabbing hold of her arm, turning her around to face him. "Leia, he really frightened me with what he did. I don't think that it's wise for you to confront him."
"What do you want me to do?" Leia demanded. "Stand by and do nothing when something is clearly wrong with Luke?"
"No, I..." Han began and stopped, knowing that no matter what Luke done to him earlier, he couldn't just abandon the kid.
Only Luke wasn't a kid anymore. The boy he had known had disappeared some time during the time he had last seen him on Hoth and when he had returned to the base. He seemed to have suddenly grown up, too fast for his own good, and into something that he was not. Whatever had happened it probably wasn't pretty, which was probably why Luke was unwilling to talk about it. Which was exactly why they had to get him to talk, so they could help him get over it.
"At least wait a bit before you go talk with him," he finally stated. "Give him some time to cool down, then we can go speak with him."
"Okay," Leia replied reluctantly. "However, considering what happened this morning, I think it might be best if I go talk with him alone."
"Why--" Han began.
"You have a short temper," Leia quickly interrupted. "Besides, it will seem a lot less threatening if only one of us confronts him."
"Okay," Han finally replied. "Just be careful."
"Hey, this is Luke we're talking about," Leia said.
"It may be Luke Skywalker, but it's not the Luke Skywalker we know, Leia. It's another Luke Skywalker," Han stated. "Just promise me that you won't push him as far as I did."
"I promise," Leia replied. "But I seriously think that you're exaggerating."
"I hope so, Princess," Han stated. "I certainly hope so."
***
Walking towards the cafeteria for a late lunch, Luke mentally cursed himself. He had snapped at the other pilots under his command and he had neglected to praise them when they had done something good, a thing he really should have done to Zalum. Shaking his head he sighed. He was acting worse than when he had first returned! Perhaps he should return to his father. Last night had after all been the first time he had truly felt happy since he had recovered from his amnesia. Perhaps...
"Luke?"
He had been so absorbed in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed Leia until she was standing next to him.
"Yes?" he asked absently as he stopped walking.
"I need to talk to you," Leia replied as she took hold of his upper arm, surprised at the muscle play she felt there.
"About what?" Luke asked suspiciously, ignoring the fact that Leia was standing really close to him.
Had Han said something about their earlier meeting? If so, what was going to happen now? Should he lie to Leia and say he had things to do? But what if she checked and found that he had lied? Should he use the Force on her? Damn, this was all so frustrating!
Dark/Light,
Right/Wrong,
Good/Bad,
Happy/Unhappy...
"I'll tell you, but not out here," Leia stated, gesturing to the other people in the hall.
"Okay," Luke agreed reluctantly, despite the bad feeling he had.
Letting Leia guide him he quickly found himself in one of the lounges on the base. Only this one was completely empty, a rare occurrence as there were always pilots and techs off-duty who liked nothing more then to come to one of the lounges to talk.
"Well?" Luke demanded, a little harsher then he had meant.
"I'm worried about you. No," Leia began holding up her hand. "Don't try to deny that something's bothering you because I know there is. I talked to Han earlier and he told me about what happened this morning. I'll admit he said some things he shouldn't have, but so did you. Luke, we're just worried about you. We can clearly see that there's something bothering you. We just want to help."
Hearing the genuine concern in Leia's voice left Luke speechless for a moment. Somehow it seemed a lot easier to snap at Han then at Leia, somehow...but he didn't know why.
"I'm touched by your concern," he replied honestly. "But I'm fine, really."
"Luke," Leia continued. "Please, tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing's wrong," Luke lied as he sat down on one of the couches and looked up at her. "Really."
Looking into the strangely empty eyes of her friend Leia realized that she'd have to change tactics. She'd put a lot of thought into Luke's behavior and the only thing that made any sense to her, although she didn't want to believe it, was that Luke, as General Madine had suggested, had lied to them about what had really happened to him. She knew for sure that he'd been attacked by a horangi and had had amnesia. The scars and the medical scan had proven that. But perhaps this Jason Tyren didn't exist.
"It wasn't some space pirate who took care of you while you were suffering from amnesia, was it?" Leia asked, studying her friend closely.
"Excuse me?" Luke asked, looking away from Leia and fighting down a wave of panic. "What are you talking about?"
Had he said something to give himself away? Leia wouldn't listen to General Madine, would she?
"I'm talking about the way you've been acting since you've come back from the dead," Leia continued seeing Luke's face twitch before he had conveniently turned away from her. "Who really took care of you after you were attacked by the horangi?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," Luke lied as he got up from the couch and began to pace the room restlessly.
"Yes, you do," Leia pressed, noticing his restlessness. She had definitely hit a sore spot. "The way you've distanced yourself from everyone, the way you act around Chewie, the Hammerhead remark at the conference the other day, the way you used the Force on Han this morning, I could go on forever! Luke, you've changed a lot since you've returned. You're no longer the innocent farmboy we used to know. Luke, please, tell me what's happened. Who took care of you?"
"Of course I've changed!" Luke snapped, irritated. Couldn't Leia see that he didn't want to talk about this? "I've gotten involved in a war! I've killed!"
"Luke," Leia sighed trying to ignore his temper but unable not to be hurt by it. "I know you. This sudden abnormal behavior isn't just stress from being involved in a war, it's from something that happened to you since the day you were attacked by the horangi."
"You do not know me!" Luke declared angrily, losing any control he had over his temper.
How could she possibly think she knew him? How could anyone possibly know him save his father? He didn't even know himself anymore! Leia, Han, Wedge, Chewie, and all the others were just trying to help him, but they couldn't give him what he wanted. He wanted to feel like he belonged, like he was important. He wanted to feel his father's hand on his shoulder, to hear him call him 'son', all things that his friends couldn't provide. The only place he had found all of that was at his father's side, and he had forsaken it all for...for what? For someone else's definition of what was right? But did he think that what his father did was right? But hadn't he enjoyed what he had done while under the influence of the horangi's poison? Was he really that different from his father?
Frustrated, he shook his head and suddenly realized that Leia was standing next to him, a worried expression on her face.
"Luke, are you all right?" Leia questioned worried, hurt, and scared all at once.
She was hurt at the way he had yelled at her, worried about his peculiar behavior and about what had triggered it. What could have changed Luke so completely that everything he had once cared for now seemed expendable? She was also scared by the sudden, terrible, dark need that she had seen in his eyes. However, the look had faded almost the instant she had noticed it, making her wonder, and hope, that it had only been a figment of her imagination.
Suddenly, Luke seemed to snap out of the trance he was in and his ice-blue eyes met her hazel brown. In that moment Leia could see a small and helpless child standing before her instead of the strong and strong-willed Jedi that had been with her only several months ago.
"Luke?" she asked again, her voice full of concern.
In that instant Luke snapped. He quickly he tore his eyes away from Leia as he sank back into the couch.
"You're right," he whispered softly, unable to lie anymore. "It wasn't a space pirate who found me. It was an Imperial."
"An Imperial?" Leia asked cautiously. "Didn't he recognize you?"
Luke looked up at her and let out a short, un-amused, laugh.
"Of course he recognized me," Luke stated sarcastically. "It was Vader!"
"VADER?!" Leia exclaimed, horrified as the implications of what Luke had said hit home. "You mean Vader found you when you had no idea of who you were?!"
Luke just looked at her and nodded before turning his head away from her, but not before Leia saw the pain on his face.
Vader! Vader had found Luke when he had had no idea of who he was, or what he had stood for! What had he done to Luke? Actually she didn't want to know the answer to that question as she knew Vader's personality far too well. He had probably taken full advantage of the situation and had done all he could to ruin Luke. No wonder he was acting so strange! She was surprised that he had even managed to come back after what he had undoubtedly suffered at Vader's hands. Suddenly everything made sense, the Hammerhead remark, his strange behavior around Chewie, his unease every time Vader was discussed...
Shivering, Leia reached out and embraced her friend.
"It's okay, Luke," she whispered softly as she felt Luke's muscles stiffen beneath her arms. "It's okay. You're safe now. He won't hurt you anymore."
She thought she had just reached him when he suddenly pulled back out of her embrace and got to his feet. Looking at the princess, Luke felt a wave of disgust wash over him. She thought that she had figured out what had happened and that it could all be healed, but in reality she didn't know the half of it.
"Luke?" Leia asked moving towards him again. "It's okay."
"No," Luke denied shaking his head. "He...I..."
"He what?" Leia asked, knowing that once she knew exactly what Luke had experienced she could help him.
"Nothing," Luke replied, turning away from her.
She couldn't understand how he felt. Not only did she hate Vader, but she had grown up with her own parents and friends. She didn't know what it felt like to know that you didn't belong where you were, to know that you didn't fit in. Growing up she had had her parents and her friends to help and guide her. Now she had Han and Mon Mothma. She didn't need him. No one needed him. No one truly loved him. No one save his father.
"Luke, please, talk to me," Leia said as she once again embraced him.
"You don't want to know," Luke whispered.
"Yes, I do," Leia replied. "Remember, I've been at his mercy myself and, believe me, the only way to get past the memories is to get them out."
He hadn't been at his father's mercy, had he? At least not in the way Leia meant. Briefly he thought of what his father had done to her on board the Death Star and what he had done to Han on Bespin and was surprised to find that he felt nothing, no anger at his father, no sympathy for his friends. It was like the way his guilt for what he had done had faded away into nothingness.
Suddenly her embrace felt wrong. He wanted his father to be holding him, not Leia. Without thinking he quickly, harshly, pulled himself out of her arms.
"Luke?" Leia asked, startled by the wild expression on his face. "Luke, are you all right?"
Luke just shook his head as he slowly backed away from her, his mouth opening and closing.
"Luke? What's wrong?" Leia asked, puzzled as she took a few steps closer to the young man. "Are you all right?"
"Stay away from me!" Luke suddenly exclaimed. "Just...just leave me alone!"
With this Luke turned around and hurried out of the lounge, leaving a confused and bewildered Leia behind.
***
"I wonder how Leia's doing," Han remarked to Lando as they looked at some maps of potential bases in case they needed to flee again, like they had had to on Hoth and Walp.
"I'm sure she's all right," Lando replied as he trashed one of the potential planets as it was in an area that had too much traffic. "She knows how to handle situations like this much better then you do."
"Thanks a lot, pal," Han replied, shooting Lando an evil look.
"I'm serious, Han," Lando stated. "You have too much of a temper and not enough patience for this kind of thing."
"As if Leia has--" Han began and stopped as the door opened and a bewildered, worried, and confused Leia entered the room. "Well? Did he talk?"
"Yes," Leia replied. "Sort of."
"What?" Lando asked, immediately knowing that it was serious. "What did he say?"
"Basically that Jason Tyren doesn't exist."
"Huh?" Han said. "Then who found him and took care of him?"
"Vader," Leia stated, once again feeling the hairs on her arms and neck rise at the thought.
"WHAT?!" Han demanded after a short, stunned, silence.
"You heard me," Leia said. "Vader found Luke after he was attacked by the horangi."
"Great Sith of all Siths," Lando swore. "Literally! No wonder he's been acting differently."
"I know," Leia replied. "However, the worst part of it is that Luke refused to tell me anymore. He refused to let me comfort him. If he doesn't let his emotions out, he'll ruin himself!"
"How did your talk with him end?" Han asked.
"When he stormed out of the room, telling me to leave him alone," Leia replied.
"I think we better go talk with him before he does anything rash," Han suggested. "Especially now that the truth is out in the open, there's no telling what he's been through or what he might do!"
"There's just one thing that doesn't make sense in all this," Lando suddenly stated.
"Just one?" Leia asked, looking at him.
"Yes," Lando replied. "If Vader had Luke, then why doesn't he have Luke now or why isn't Luke dead?"
There was a short silence during which the three friends just looked at each other, unable to come up with a reply.
"There's only one way to find out," Han finally said as he headed towards the door. "And that's to go and ask Luke."
***
Entering his room, Luke quickly walked over to his bunk, lifted the hard mattress, and pulled out the pouch that contained the remaining credits he had. He wasn't exactly sure at what moment he had made up his mind, but he had left the lounge knowing what he was going to do. He was going to return home, to return to the father who had patiently waited for him, who hadn't rushed him into making a decision.
Momentarily he considered the fact that at the moment he was the only man alive in the whole galaxy who could find safety and shelter on both sides of the Galactic Civil War. Thinking of that he thought of how he would change the odds of the Alliance winning the war by going to his father, but he quickly dismissed the thought. It was time he started thinking of what he wanted and needed and of not what others wanted or needed. And now he wanted, no, needed, his father.
Checking his room one more time to make sure there was nothing left, he exited his room and quickly headed in the direction of the landing pad and his X-wing.
***
When they reached Luke's room, Han reached out and knocked on the door. When he got no response he tried again.
"Luke," he said. "Please open up."
When there was no response, Leia looked around, saw the corridor was empty, and then hesitated before she used a special override code that opened the door. Stepping into the small dark room Lando ordered the lights turned on.
"I've got a bad feeling about this," Han stated as he saw the mattress lying sideways on the bed, like someone had taken something out from underneath it in a hurry.
"Me too," Leia replied before the three of them turned around, exited the room, and hurried down the hallway towards the landing pad.
"I don't believe Luke would just leave without saying anything," Leia said as they made their way through a crowded section of the hallway.
"I wouldn't have thought that he'd just outright lie to us either," Han replied. "Whatever Vader did, it was bad."
"Knowing Vader that's no surprise," Lando stated.
They reached the landing pad just in time to see Luke's X-wing lift off.
"The Falcon, quick!" Han yelled, heading towards his pride and joy.
Boarding the ramp Han quickly ran to the cockpit and dropped himself into the pilots chair as Lando took Chewie's regular place.
"Lets hope we don't have a burn-out!" Leia commented as she too entered the cockpit.
"Don't worry," Han reassured her as he started flipping buttons. "Chewie and I completely fixed her."
"Still," Leia said skeptically. "Better warn Wedge. He's on patrol right now. Maybe he can stop Luke."
Nodding his head, Han turned on the com just as the Falcon lifted off.
"Wedge?" he said.
"Han, is that you?" came Wedge's voice over the com.
"Yes, you should see Luke approaching you soon," Han stated. "Don't let him enter hyperspace!"
"Excuse me?" Wedge asked confused. "Why?"
"That's an order, Commander," Han stated, knowing that he didn't have the time to explain everything to Wedge right now.
"Yes Sir," Wedge replied.
***
Changing com channel so that he could talk to the others with him, Wedge sighed. He wished he knew what Luke had done, but he also knew that Han must have his reason for ordering what he had.
"I've just received orders from General Solo that we are not to let Commander Skywalker enter hyperspace," he said into his com.
"Why, sir?" Tyson asked.
"I don't know anymore then you do, Rogue Nine," Wedge replied.
"Yes, sir," Tyson replied. "I have just one question, if Commander Skywalker decides that he does want to enter hyperspace, what do we do then?"
"Fire at his engines," Wedge ordered reluctantly. "But aim to cripple, not to kill."
"Yes, sir," Tyson replied, nervousness evident in his voice.
"Heads up," Wedge ordered as he spotted Luke's approaching X-wing. "Here he comes."
***
Seeing the patrol X-wings move to block his path Luke instantly knew that Han and Leia were trying to stop him. Stop him and then make him talk so that they could heal him! Well, he'd had enough of their talk. He wanted to go home! Hoping that Wedge and the others weren't too serious about blocking his route to hyperspace he changed his course slightly. To his dismay, he saw the X-wings ahead of him move to block his path again. They had no right to keep him here! It was his life and he could make his own decisions!
"Wedge," he said opening a com connection to his friend.
"Yes?" Wedge replied nervously.
"I'd like to get through," Luke stated as he noticed that there was a ship coming up behind him.
"I'm sorry, Luke," Wedge responded. "But I've got orders not to let you through."
Recognizing the ship behind him as the Falcon Luke quickly closed the com connection with Wedge as his anger flared up inside of him. They were trying to trap him like some animal! Remembering what he had been able to do in the simulator with his anger, he instantly let it flush through him as he decided on where to go. He couldn't just make a hyperspace jump straight to Lantooine. They'd figure out where he went and follow him. Quickly glancing at a chart of nearby planets he felt strangely drawn towards the last one on the list, Naboo.
Ordering the R2-unit in the back of his X-wing to set a course for the planet, he took a deep breath. Then, determined to get past the X-wings blocking his path, he locked his S-foils into the open position so that they formed the X that gave his craft it's name.
***
"What the heck is he doing?" Lando demanded as the S-foils on Luke's X-wing separated.
"I have no idea," Leia replied. "Maybe he thinks that he can scare the others into moving and so giving him a chance to enter hyperspace."
"Well, he'd better think again," Han stated. "They know he'd never fire on them. They're his own squad members!"
The words had hardly left Han's mouth when twin daggers of red laser fire escaped from the X-wing.
"WHAT?!" Han and Leia exclaimed simultaneously, both completely shocked as they watched the laser fire hit the shields of one of the X-wings blocking Luke's path.
"He...he...he just fired," Leia finally stammered, still stunned. "Please tell me I imagined that!"
"I wish you had" Lando replied. "Now what?"
There was only silence in reply to Lando's question.
***
Realizing his advantage, Luke quickly fired a few more shots, weakening the shield of the X-wing that was his target before the others finally started to move. The X-wing he'd been firing at responded by returning fire, but he easily avoided the shots and noticed that Han had to turn the Falcon to avoid getting hit as well. A smile spread across his face at this. Neither Han nor the X-wings could fire without the risk of hitting each other.
Letting his anger guide him he easily avoided the fire aimed at him. But, although it was missing him, just the fact that they were firing at him made his anger grow by he second. Watching the X-wings begin to group in an all too familiar pattern, he quickly pulled his X-wing into a strange dive, firing at his target X-wing as he did so. The craft he was targeting was that of the newest and most inexperienced member of the squad. It was piloted by Zalum, someone whom he didn't know as well as the other pilots, making it easier to fire on him.
Cursing as he was hit, he realized that there was only one way he'd get out of this mess and reach hyperspace. He'd have to destroy one of the other X-wings and fly through the resulting debris. It was the only way. Sure he was a great pilot and he had the Force, but he wasn't fully trained and the odds against him were just too high. Taking a deep breath he cleared his mind of everything save for his desire to get to his father and his anger in order to be able to do what he was about to do.
Using the Force, he lined up his X-wing so that his proton torpedoes would hit his target before he switched from lasers to torpedoes and fired instantly. This way his target would barely get a split second's warning before the torpedoes hit, not enough time for him to do anything.
***
Leia swore under her breath as one of the X-wings disappeared in a ball of flame. Then, as they watched, Luke's X-wing leapt forward, through the debris of the X-wing, and into the freedom of space beyond. Seconds later the X-wing disappeared from sight as it entered hyperspace.
"He...he just..." Han began in stunned disbelief. "He just killed one of his own squad members!"
"I know," Leia replied watching the debris of the destroyed X-wing float about. "But why? What's come over him? What did Vader do to him? Where is he going? And why wouldn't he talk to us?"
There was a heavy silence in the cockpit as everyone thought of this, but were unable to come up with any answers.
"What direction was he heading in?" Lando finally asked. "Maybe we can still find him."
Han and Leia just looked at him, all three of them knowing that the chances of finding Luke again were almost nonexistent. He was gone. Why they didn't know, but unless he chose to return they'd probably never see him again.
***
Arriving out of hyperspace two hours after he'd entered it, Luke cast a quick glance at the planet of Naboo. The planet was deserted now, totally barren of any form of life, intelligent or otherwise. But it hadn't always been so, he knew. Once it had teamed with life. It had been the proud home of the Naboo and of the Gungans, two different people who had lived peacefully together in a symbiotic relationship until the last days that life had been possible on the planet. In one of the books in his father's library he'd read about how a strange disease had wiped out all life on the planet.
Pulling his thoughts away from the planet, he ordered the R2-unit to calculate everything for the hyperspace jump to Lantooine. Once there he'd ditch the X-wing and the R2-unit, get his money and clothes, and then buy a new ship to return home in.
Smiling at the thought, he realized that it would only be a two day trip in his X-wing as he had a top of the line hyperdrive unit.
***
Two days later,
Skillfully landing his X-wing in the docking bay on Lantooine, Luke quickly ordered the R2-unit to shut down. Knowing that an X-wing would quickly attract a lot of unwanted attention, he left it locked in the docking bay. Walking over to the lockers where he'd left his stuff he quickly paid the owner a huge amount of credits before he opened the locker he'd used and got out the bag containing his clothes and the rest of the money he had.
"Come back any time," the owner called after him as he left.
Ignoring the comment, he headed straight to the busiest cantina in Mos Lispa where he was sure to find someone willing to sell him a ship for the money he had to offer.
***
Three days later,
Boarding his new ship, Luke dumped his bag in the hallway as he entered the cockpit. It was a small cargo instead of a civilian craft, but he'd gotten it at a reasonable price and it was fast, which was all that he cared about at the moment. Sitting down in the pilot's chair he knew that he'd better head straight for Melca. In the past few days doubt had started to enter his mind about what he was doing. He was, after all, thinking of joining Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith. Returning to Melca would almost definitely mean joining the Dark Side of the Force and he wasn't sure he wanted that.
He'd heard Yoda talk about the Dark Side and what he had said didn't sound too good at all. Yoda had said that people who used the Dark Side had been consumed by it and that they were it's slaves. But then his father used it, didn't he? And he wasn't a slave, nor was the Emperor. On the contrary, Palpatine was the most powerful man in the galaxy! Besides, his father loved him and he wanted it for his son, so it couldn't be bad...could it?
He'd also begun feeling guilt about killing Zalum. The boy, for that's all that he'd been, a sixteen-year-old boy, had trusted him, had looked up at him, and had admired him. Briefly his mind went back to when he'd first met Zalum. He'd only just returned to the Alliance and the boy had come up to him and he'd begun talking about how honored he was to fly in the same squadron with 'the famous Luke Skywalker' as he'd called him. He'd also said that it was because of the victory at Yavin that he'd joined the Alliance.
Shaking his head, Luke pushed those thoughts aside. Zalum was dead and that was that. Reaching forward he began to flip switches and soon the ship became airborne.
"Besides," Luke spoke aloud to himself as he flew up into Lantooine's atmosphere. "I can't go back to the Alliance now, even if I wanted to. They'd arrest me and then try me for treason and murder before they'd execute me."
But he didn't want to go back...did he? No, he didn't. He'd made up his mind when he'd first headed for his X-wing. He was going home which was exactly what he'd always wanted to do. True, it was different from what he'd imagined as a child on Tatooine, but the outcome would be the same. He'd be with his father, he'd be loved, he'd feel like he belonged, and he'd be able to learn from his father.
Entering the coordinates for Melca into the computer, he waited until the computer indicated it was ready before he reached forward and pulled back the hyperspace levers. Watching the stars blur into streaks of yellow-white as the ship entered hyperspace he sighed.
***
Three days later,
Exiting hyperspace, Luke tensed, his mental shields raised, ready to ward off his father should he try to enter his mind. He briefly felt Vader's presence as he checked to make sure it was him, but then his father retreated, seeing that his son didn't want to talk. Looking at the planet before him, Luke hesitated. During the course of the past few days his doubts had increased. But just the fact that his father respected his wish for no mental contact at the moment made some of his doubts melt away. His father had never pushed him the way Han and Leia had. He'd respected his wishes, plus he understood him, something not even Owen and Beru Lars had been able to do after twenty years.
Guiding the ship into Melca's atmosphere, he sighed. Why did life have to be full of hard choices? Why couldn't he just have been born into a normal family? Or why couldn't Ben have left him with his father in the first place? Those what if questions were starting to take up more and more of his time, even though he knew that they were totally useless. What was, was.
As he landed the ship, he saw his father was waiting for him at the edge of the landing pad. Leaning back in the pilots chair, he looked out the viewport at the black-clad figure standing there, then he looked down at the similar black clothes and cape he was wearing. He had only changed into them shortly before he'd exited hyperspace. He could still go he knew. His father had let him leave once so he was sure he'd let him go a second time. Although he could never go back to the Alliance, he could always go to some remote, out-of-the-way planet and live there. He could get married, have children, and live a calm and peaceful life there, never looking back.
Shaking his head, he briefly wondered what was wrong with him. He knew he'd never be able to spend his life on some backwater planet and never wish for more. All he had to do was look at his past to confirm that. Looking out of the viewport again he saw that his father hadn't moved. His father wanted him and yet he respected his choice.
Standing, he headed towards the ramp, only thinking of the longing he felt. As he let down the ramp he hesitated once more. As soon as he descended this ramp his choice was as good as made. Was this really what he wanted? He wasn't sure, but then that's what he had thought when he had last left this planet, this man, and here he was again. Closing his eyes for a few seconds he gave a sigh and then started to descend the ramp, heading towards his waiting father.
As soon as he left the shelter of his ship the wind hit his black cape and started playing with it. He didn't notice it as he reached the bottom of the ramp and walked towards his father. Stopping before him he looked up into the expressionless black mask.
"Father...I...I," he stuttered unsure of what to say and what he was doing.
Looking down into his son's eyes Vader smiled. Luke had returned to him and of his own free will, too. He had known that he would miss the boy when he left, but he hadn't expected it to be as bad as it had been. He had been extremely pleased when Luke had called out to him last week as it had only strengthened his belief of how unhappy his child had to be.
Seeing confusion and uncertainty in the murky depths of his son's eyes, he reached out and placed both of his hands on the boy's shoulders. Seeing the flicker of joy in Luke's eyes only broadened his smile. They stood there for a moment, the air thick with expectation. Then, suddenly, Vader pulled Luke into an embrace.
Startled, Luke tensed slightly but then relaxed as he realized what was happening. Smiling, he rested his head against his father's massive chest as he lowered his mental shields and let his father in. Feeling his father's arms tighten around him in reply, he didn't flinch as his father gently entered his mind. Instinctively knowing that he was safe, he closed his eyes as his father tried to sort through the jumble of his emotions. Feeling understanding radiate from his father he wondered what would happen next. He waited and then he felt all his remaining doubts melt away like ice in the sun as his father reached up and started to softly stroke his hair with his hand.
Finally Vader pulled back and held Luke at arms length as he opened his own mind to his son. Realizing what his father was doing, Luke reached forward and entered Vader's mind. He was instantly surprised and amazed by the amount of power his father held. He was also overly pleased with his father's feelings for him. After having sorted through the pride and love he found there, he retreated, looking up at his father.
His decision was made. All his doubts were gone and already he felt like he belonged. True, it was slightly awkward as he was feeling the Light Side of the Force more then the Dark Side but it was there, around him from having used it on several occasions. It was hovering at the edge of his soul and slightly inside of it, inside of him. But his father would soon fix that, his father and the Emperor. Together they'd show him the Dark Side, and he'd accept, if only to please his father. But even as he thought of it he realized that he truly did want to learn how to use the Dark Side. Yes, he'd used it before, but he knew that he'd only been skimming the surface of the power that was available to him.
"We must inform Palpatine of your return," Vader stated hearing his son's thought.
And what he heard truly pleased him. Luke had tremendous potential and now he and his master would teach the child how to turn that potential into real power.
Nodding in agreement Luke followed his father as Vader turned around and headed towards the castle, towards their home. Feeling everything he had only hoped, dreamt of feeling in the past, he smiled. He was now where he belonged, where he was meant to be.
Entering the castle, Luke knew that, despite his time as a Rebel, he was now an Imperial at heart.
End
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